scarier than halloween

and now im back after a month's hiatus. who would have thought that i'd completely skip october? this project is just insane. imagine 14 hours of work 5 times a week... i am drag...

but for these couple of weeks i was gone, i did not allow myself to drown in despair... no no... not my style at all. while i worked my butts off on weekdays, i let loose on weekends... hmmm... not really but never mind, you know what i mean probably. wahihihi. limited rest indeed! if i were in a similar situation back in the philippines, i will surely whither in no time. (family is not part of the comparison of course. nothing beats the comforts of family. V(^o^)V ) good thing im not!

updates... hmm... well, too bad now though that a new law was passed in japan. p2p downloading is now prohibited!!! now what is the use of a fast internet connection if downloading is illegal, you may ask. well, streaming is still allowed though so i'm not that panicky yet. (who downloads porn these days? oops... slip of the finger. wahihihi) but it really was a huge blow though. finding online versions of your favorite movies and series can be a little frustrating. it takes skill to know what keywords to search for. lol... the new law somehow minimized my things to do when bored in japan.

but who needs internet when there is...

food!!! yum yum

oooops.. that last one was intended. lol.

and...

better left unsaid

There are things better left unsaid. Last friday was a little bare all for me. Why were they suddenly asking those questions?

It was a little embarrassing. Really, i do get shy as well. I was embarrassed and got red too. If not for some alcohol (alcohol loosens the tongue, though i'm not yet drunk but at least i'm good in acting) i wouldn't be able to answer those. With charm hopefully... who would have thought that they would ask about my sexuality? Hmm. Next topic please -- if i had the choice but that would be so uncool. No charm at all. And besides, i know that i will have to deal with it sometime... with people who matters most. Better try to explain now and gain some confidence, practice should i say?

All i got left was to say what i feel, that is not hard at all. But that made them more confused. Who wouldn't be? I'm confused myself; i wouldn't expect them not to be. Bwahhaha. Just allow me to explore some more and then maybe i will have the answer by then. But right now i am an asexual being. Oh wait, that is not the right term but i haven't thought much about that so let me explore both worlds for now. Whoever comes and makes me happy, i would gladly accept. The lack of experience is a big part of it...

And that makes all the difference.

But what shocked me more was how others handled the same question. Awkward but it doesn't matter. The question was awkward in the first place. And who wants to talk that stuff with your boss? No one! Hope my mouth saved him a bit, let all the attention be mine for something this weird.

Better left unsaid right? It'd better be.


PS. the thai food was great. Spicy but great. But whatever comes in, needs to come out. Imagine how spicy that was. bwahahahha.

IT reasons

never mind some of the spelling but i just have to share this to everyone. kudos to the original facebook sharer.

now if you too, are in the IT industry, how many of the reasons above fits you?

those little nothings missed

for a little over than a week now, i have been working my butts off as if there is no tomorrow. in just that short span of time, it makes you realize the importance of small things.

1. i miss eating dinner together with my housemates
• it is not the eating per se but more on the small talks that comes with it. i haven't spent much time with them yet. solong solo ko na sana ang mga ito pero ngayon pa talaga naging ganito ka busy. hay buhay, napakamapaglaro mo talaga. gusto ko nang laruin ang mga housemates ko. parang ang sagwa pakinggan pero go pa din.
2. i miss lunch time with my officemate
• and he happens to be a housemate as well. last resort ko na sana ito para malaman ang mga kaganapan sa loob ng bahay ng mga aliping saguiguilid(metaphor lamang po, of course our situation is nowhere near the aliping saguiguilid status). and there it goes, my last resort just puffed. i miss the short non-work related break. i miss the going-to-the-combini-together-to-buy-snacks. i miss our happy days and our happy times. if we were only in the same room then it would have been ok. this really sucks. (oi oi oi... pampakilig ra ni na number actually. bwahahahha.)
3. i miss the nonsense chat with online friends
• what else can i say, i have been spending the whole time trying to plan this project out. thinking hurts you know. and trying to explain yourself in another language is triple the headache. i have not experienced anything close to this i think(if you know me you would know that this is an exaggeration. there are so many other things more TROUBLEsome than this).
4. i mss my online drama and online anime
• i haven't seen my korean and japanese stars(both human and drawn) for a long time now.
5. i miss my japanese class and test
• usually, meron akong 1 hour class na nihongo sa umaga. eh paano ngayon yan ni wala nga akong oras para uminom ng tubig. ay oo nga pala, miss ko din ang uminom ng tubig. balik muna tayo sa test. ang hirap naman din kasi nitong mga kanji na ito. kung madali lang eh di sana hindi din ito tatagal ng isang oras din. pero nakakamiss din pala. gusto ko nang maging grade 5(mga kanji na pang grade 4 pa lang kami ngayon).
6. i miss drinking water
• as i'ce said earlier, nakakalimutan ko nang uminom ng tubig. i usually drink 3 bottles of water but i can't hardly finish one right now. my mind is always somewhere else that it can no longer trigger my hand to grab the water bottle for me to drink.
7. nakakamiss din mag blog
• as if palagi din akong nagboblog. pero miss ko talaga siya ngayon. at least dati nakakapagisip ako, "ano kaya ang magandang iblog? hmmm... paano kaya isulat yun? hmmm... eh meron kayang babasa? hmmm... ay h'wag nalang, tinatamad ako." o diba may choice. pero ngayon, "ano nga yang blog?".

but then at the end of the day (night i mean), i am still alive. and as the song says, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... stronger...

hay.

i'd rather go to the gym and be stronger than experience this whole thing. but since i am a little masochistic, i guess this is fine. gosh, i am full of contradictions.

disclaimers

and who would have thought this is how the pieces would fit?

i started blogging way back friendster time. and then i blogged in multiply. and finally here in blogspot. friendster closed so i imported all my entries to here. but i still haven't figured out how to import my entries from multiply.

i usually write when i am bothered by something: pushed by emotions i felt. this explains most of the outburst entries in this blog. i haven't cared who my readers were; i only wrote my feelings. i was confident that no one would read this blog but unfortunately, people did.

i am thankful that people are appreciating this minimal blog but people from work have started reading as well. and that makes it scary. i was expecting a few to read but not that much. i also have already forgotten what i wrote; which makes it even more scary. wahahahha. goodbye to my small reputation. wahihihihi.

now, how do i proceed from here? hmmmm... just carry on. just for a bit i forgot that a blog is never private so until this much is expected. news do travel faster by mouth. to my reader's, avid or not, just keep the entries to yourself OK. OK! if i only knew who of my colleagues read this then it would be easier to hunt them down. wahahahha.

ps: now that i'm back in japan, i might talk more of japan. and who would have thought that i would someday be wearing a suit for work? it is not a daily thing though but it happens weekly. i still have to practice much with the necktie. if only ancient people didn't invent this troublesome piece of cloth then i would have been happier. wahihihihi. my boss himself taught me how to tie; so troublesome of me.

closing another chapter

who would have thought that i will be back in japan? who would have thought this day would come? i certainly didn't. and i am damn proud of my self and honored to be chosen. and yes, i will do my best to pay back this faith received. but unfortunately though, i have left a great crowd back home.

it was one eventful january when i first signed a contract. who would have thought that this could lead me to such a joyous group. i will surely miss our nihongo sessions. though it was short but it is also one of my happiest. 4 hours of spending time together everyday surely made its mark. 5 names surely have a spot. happy breathing in and breathing out guys. keep your voices loud even without me.

around the second half of last year was a momentous event. it was the start of a horrible time but filled with laughter as well. i can attest that when people undergo the same hardships and struggles together, they grow stronger and bond closer. for together we faced a great wave and together we survived. move forward team ganesha!

and who would forget my beloved. they come and go but i stayed. as one of the founding members of such a great time, i now turn over my crown. i cannot be thankful enough for such a great learning journey. it is with shinsei that i grew, slimmed down, rose up, had heartaches, and lived my life. i will never become the me i am today if not for this project. to all shinsei members, you always have a special place in my system. wahihihhihi. may you also learn as much, if not more, than i did.

now enough of this drama.

hello japan!

hello new project!

hello new team!

this will surely be one hell of a ride and i will never back out of this. head on collision they say... the challenge may be tough but i am tougher. bwahahahahha.

small quakes 6.9

it was a normal day for normal employees like me. i came to office a little past 8:30. late from my everyday morning dose of nihongo lessons. once again, we breathed in and out. and went on with the class. but just before noon came, something out of the ordinary happened. EARTHQUAKE!!!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5... the building was still shaking. we went out of the room to meet our other colleagues also wondering what on earth is happening. my first instinct told me to find somewhere safe. and i saw the building pillar. i went near it and dragged a colleague with me only to find out that an a/c unit is directly above us. this place is surely not safe. and then the ground stopped shaking.

we quickly ran down the emergency exit. in no time from the 7th floor we reached the bottom only to find out that the door leading outside the building is locked. wow! this is the best feeling of my life. the threads of sanity i strongly held on slowly broke. why on earth is the emergency exit door locked? i didn't panic from the actual quake but a little claustrophobia got into me this time. we immediately alighted 2 floors back up and took another exit.

slowly, people got out of the building and stories of shock filled the air. everyone had a story to tell. and the worst part, phone lines broke. it only came back around 15 minutes later. i normally skip lunch but i took one this time thinking that a much needed energy would be helpful should there be an aftershock.

i was a little disappointed to hear no company official statement. other companies in that same building went home early than the usual. it was business as usual for ours. the earthquake was 6.9 with kilometers offshore negros as it's epicenter.

our japanese teacher then shared that during earthquakes, the first thing to do is to hide under the table and stay under until the quake stops. i immediately replied, there is only one table in our training room. surely, five people won't fit under it. and besides, cebu is not tokyo. in tokyo everything, buildings and people included, are earthquake proof. in cebu, we have no proof that buildings will remain standing after withstanding quakes. now we know it will but we didn't know before.

hours later, news of an impending tsunami came. the water in downtown area rose, they said. and this caused panic. just search for videos in youtube to find more. it must have been a carnival out there. but thinking back now, no one can blame these people. first, others haven't heard of the news of where the epicenter was. if they did, then mostly likely they would know that a tsunami in the city is impossible. second, this is the first big quake in cebu. most people don't even know what epicenter means. not knowing anything is scary and that makes one vulnerable to believe what others say. third, it was already a mob out there. when a huge number of people run towards you, won't you run with them as well? lastly, news of japan and new zealand is still quite fresh in the people's minds. you just can't blame them for acting that way. these made me conclude that cebu is not ready for earthquakes yet.

later around 6, as we were having a video conference with our japan counterparts, came a big aftershock. but i didn't even realize it until our boss himself alerted about it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... our boss finally stopped the conference and told everyone to get out of the building. what a day it was. i went home with stories to share.

aftershocks still came days after but the trauma of the first is incomparable. i can't be more thankful that we were safe.

my memorable christmas

the philippine christmas celebration they say is the longest. it starts as early as september and ends on january. i also think it does. people starts to become joyful and thinks of christmas on september. but for me, my christmas started on december 10.

we decided to have a community outreach for the fire victims in tejero. it was a heartwarming experience. seeing the smiles on the faces of our beneficiaries is more than enough. i believe that all great things begin with a simple step and not taking that step is the biggest sin. i know that what we offered was not enough but it is a step. this made me realize that if people are more compassionate towards others, what a great difference this would make to the world. in our case, the small effort of 12 people made 70 families a bit happier.

it was also on december when i joined a funlympics. i was never the sporty type from the start but i know how to use adrenaline. i was surprised myself that i totally enjoyed the event. we had paintball early in the morning. it was fun when you hear someone scream "ouch"; it was fun knowing that you were able to hit. but the bullets are really painful, no joke. in the afternoon, we enjoyed an unusual obstacle course. it definitely is not good for acrophobic people like me. i always thought of quitting during the course but my heart pushed me to continue. and yes i did! the late afternoon was spent on race karting. i don't drive and i admit i am the worst even on simulated driving but this is fun. i just sped up and survived with no scratches. wahihihi. this made me think of the importance of a good health. the world is wide and there is still so much more to explore. be fit and take the challenge.

temporary boredom

in my 24years of existence, i have been thinking again. it's not that i am so bored today to even start this alien "thinking" hobby. yes i am bored but don't get me wrong, this thinking did not spark from there. though i admit, boredom may be a catalyst.

i have been thinking, why am i this bored today?

then i realized that i am not mentally challenged in my work now. i have lost interest. it has become a routine and i have been avoiding that from the start coz i know that this might mean the end. there is nothing out of the ordinary, everything seems normal and lifeless.

even my colleagues are leaving one by one. though i don't want to be left alone, but i can't stop them. it really is better for me to leave than be left behind. i just hate the feeling. i was so accustomed to them being around and then they fall. it is frustrating.

and then i thought, possibly i'm burnt out. i have been working all my life even before i graduated from the university. this is probably the downside of having some "brilliant" mind (self acclaimed).

and then...





(*stopped writing and found something interesting to do)

time

without me realizing it, time has passed so quickly.

last friday night, i had a late night work activity starting at 10pm with the deadline after an hour. with a blink, the hour passed and i had to call up for extension. after half a blink, postponed.

1 hour seems like a blink. if only the second hands turned a little slower then the hour would be longer.

it seems like yesterday but my overtime work has been happening for 2 months already.

it seems like a week ago but its been 2 years living in japan.

i now start to wonder about the future. i shouldn't be doing. i don't want to think some more. i just want to sleep and be free from the traps of corporate slavery.

can i turn back time to the point where they asked me if i want to continue for another year? i want to experience what it would have been if i said no.

worn out

if life is always as busy as this, is it possible to pause for a while???

i don't want things to stop but i also want to rest and enjoy the slow paced life.

it has been 3 weeks of relentless nights. i have spent most of my day at work. who wouldn't want to take a rest and stop? who wouldn't???

i've been bugged by lots of calls and confrontations telling issues of this and that everyday. who wouldn't want to take a rest???

it is not only you guys who are in this trouble so it is much better if i know at least what you've been doing. if only i could tell them all to contact you guys instead, then it would be so damn fine not to know a thing at all.

what i hate most aside from the fact that i pretty know very little about things happening is that action is soooooo slow. i ask for something at this time and ask for status in the next hour, oh i forgot about that... ask again in another hour, ah yeah i'll do that now... in another hour, what was this about again. next time you call, they get irritated. wtf!!! it is me who gets to go to command room and perform something in the wee hours, it is me who answers emergency calls, it is me who gets to apologize for your slow action affecting other people. and i really hate having less control/grasp over something. i hate the feeling of worthlessness...

they eat back there while i am starving over here. but i've learned. i'll eat when hungry, no buts... take care of your damn issues while i'm out.

the difference in our philosophy greatly shows now. while others want to slowly work their way, taking their time to fix something doing the same uneventful stuff over a long period, i on the other hand want to fix it as soon as possible and take my much deserved rest without any worries. i really don't want to worry the same thing over and over and over.. and i can only stop worrying if i know that everything is running fine.

and somehow i am wondering why all tasks are taken by 2 people only...

maybe i am to blame... for trying to give my all to what i'm doing... for being a martyr.

maybe they should pick another guy to handle their stuff: someone who doesn't give a damn about anything would be great perhaps.

maybe it's time to...

frustration

can't hide what i'm feeling anymore....

i waited for him the whole time for all this time but no call nor any message came. is he still alive there??? i wonder. but my pride put me on autopilot, i did not call (i've always called first, i'm sick of doing the same routine)... 

as time went by, i can't hide this anymore; the desire got stronger and kicked my pride out. i invited him out, maybe spend a little time with each other... wahahaha.. i called and called but he won't pick it up... what was he doing at noon???? i called some more and there was an answer, finally. i kept all the questions contained: need to form words out of the many thoughts i was thinking... 

he rejected me... 

he was somewhere else and dropped the call. i don't know what to do now...

hands got colder, stomach grumbled, and the words i tried to hide came out on its own... 

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER YOU WON'T HAVE LUNCH WITH ME TODAY??? I COULD HAVE WENT OUT WITH OTHERS INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR YOU, LUNCH BUDDY."

noon time drama (coming out soon)

-- out for lunch --

(57) clueless... part 2

its been awhile since my head drifted off somewhere... and surprisingly, i allowed it to drift off. last week was a complete mess, so many deadlines to meet and people to beat.... but now is a completely different story... earlier, i thought of having a good day... i mailed people expecting some replies but no... nothing came... absolutely no replies... it is very disappointing to have no progress at all... oops, you might think that this is the perfect life for you; a life with nothing to do at all is what everyone wishes.... i thought so too, but nah... a life with nothing to do is like a traffic light in a farming village. might as well stop it and save electricity than keep it up and serve no purpose. with the feeling i have now, i would rather be in a coffin buried deep down the earth.. it is that boring today... I'm totally alone with no one else to talk to, or with no energy at all to open my jaw and speak up...

my seatmate is not here, she is dead today... imagine how you would feel after attending a birthday party miles away from home... she was dead even before she left... i couldn't imagine it to be worse.. i didn't know that a dead man could still die... how dead can a dead man be, this was what was running through my head hearing her cough all night... double dead meat...

my other seatmate, well it's always hard to catch him during the day... he was here for a while and we joked but i just couldn't find the energy to keep up with it... it's not that we don't talk often, i do enjoy our conversations, but it's just that he has so many others to talk to as well... and they talk in Japanese, of all the languages why talk in something i'm not fluent in... naturally, the conversation dwindled to a natural death...

now with no one to talk to but myself, sleep is the worst enemy... i've tried reading my book, memoirs of a geisha, and i'm on the near-end chapters but this only fueled sleep... the more i kept on, the more heavy my lids became... don't get me wrong, the book was fun... but the last few chapters were gloomy and all... my brain must have told my lids to close and gain stars than keep on imagining a war full of dead people all over...

now my brain is bringing me back to the sober days, when words spoken went freely without barrier... i can still remember how i have heard conversations on men with their exploits with women... i can still hear the descriptions used on the ways of carnal desires... and i was only disgusted.. and then i remembered the reasons women use for getting what they wanted... i can clearly picture the scenes when they reasoned out that women deserves only the best... and with this, i too felt disgusted... men should keep their adventures to themselves, it is not an award to be bragged... women should find more clever reasons to be cherished-- being a 'woman' is just an overused cliche (double impact for that...). and here i am being cynical about others but never learning. I'm just a self righteous prick... i see the wrongs but i too have mistakes to take focus on... maybe i should work on them more... but today is just not that day...

now the day's end is near and people will be slowly going out... still i'm doing nothing... yes there were occasional calls and i am happy to have them but my brain is still far-way, never been back from the sailing adventure it took earlier... this post has reached this length but still i don't know if i've written much or to continue on... this paragraph surely sounds like a closing statement... but i'm not even sure how to close something i have never opened...

now they're telling jokes of me, but i'm just too tired and sleepy to argue...

just let them be for now...

53-- onsite

I'm tired... people back home expects that there is less work here... they often thought of how lucky we are...

yes, we are lucky. i am blessed in fact. who would have expected that one day i was just a brat in Cebu and the next, I'm a brat in japan.... nothing much changed, i am still a brat. but yeah, i am a traveling brat... but guess what, this traveling brat is full of burdens.... colleagues at home expect less work??????  less work their a$$e$... facing clients is a hard job OK... we are the front liners if this were a war.... we are the first ones who die.... so don't they ever dare say that again... there black a$$e$ receive the last blow...

and you know what, here is another thing. i cannot get a leave in here.... i have never taken a leave for the past 7 months... amazing!!!!!!!!!! if i were back home, a slight pain would be a major cause for a leave... if it were as easy as before..... but no its not.... who gets to face the clients when i come back the next day???? it is still me... who gets all the trouble, me.... so forget about vacations..... it is just not worth it.

and now i am doing nothing for the 2nd time this week... and today is a Friday... i was expecting lots of work and even a bug report today, but yes, none came.... blessed.... i got the time to create this blog... but then again, I've got to be careful... if people find out that i did nothing, they might give me some work... got to pretend doing something....

end this now before i continue on...

47---- the new office

yup you read it right; im on a different office now which is far away from home... im still on the same company but on a different office... with a twist of fate, i was transferred south... gosh... i live up north and im working south... it would have been better if south office was located somewhere where civilization is sprouting... over here, there is no food... there is no canteen nor a bakery nor a cafe to eat to.... no bank nor atm to withdraw money from... there is no vending machine... there is no easy access to transportation...


i just had a deja vu...


its 15 minutes to 5 and still im lazy...

clueless.... (46)

as the title suggests, i'm so clueless today... i don't know what to
do... i don't even know if i should be doing something... all my
teammates are busy with our project, but i am not... it's as if i have
no deadline to meet... i don't even know when our deadline is. it's as
if i was left behind, like i blended well with the surrounding to the
point that they can't see me any longer... as the days pass, i feel
like I'm taken for granted... i know i should not be feeling this way
but i am... i know that i should be happy to be given a breather but i
am not... it would have been better if i have a new movie in my pc but
i don't. i don't want to surf the internet. i need a human being to
talk with. i need to open my mouth and communicate. but in this
stressful environment, no one likes to talk... i want to talk guys...
talk nonsense with me... i want to exercise my mouth... oh God help...
i need to be busy doing something... i don't want to die of boredom.
this silence is killing me.


(same as the one i posted in multiply.... this only shows how bored i am... i can't even make another one for friendster....)





(note 2: change of color for a comments sake... wahihihihi)

45------health is wealth

Friday night was the start of it all... i drank a Laxative (foods, compounds, or drugs taken to induce bowel movements, most often taken to treat constipation.) because of obvious reasons...

Saturday came the result... was very happy at 5am because of the relief it gave me... i went out with a friend and the unexpected happened twice... though it was unexpected, i was prepared... and i has happy it happened...

Sunday came and everything was normal... bought a gallon of ice cream for my dad (happy father's day papa).. we were only 4 in the family so i ate the least of two mugs... that's way too much i know but its good to indulge sometimes... and then came the pain. the joy was short lived... i slept thinking it was indigestion....

it's Monday and I'm back to work... the pain was still there and this time it was more pronounced... i felt so bloated and ready to burst... and i was so anxious because the pain was on my right side... i researched on appendicitis in the web, wishing it isn't what I'm having... as i skipped through, i continued to tell myself that it must not be... but the pain continued and my work suffered... it's really hard to think and feel pain at the same time... my work just gave me more stress...

i decided to have a medical check-up when i went out at 7pm... I'm glad that my doc has consultations at night (convenient for the working populace)... i was #17 and the first on the queue just came in... i was hurting and the line was slow... two hours passed and still i was waiting... i decided to have dinner and just thought of an excuse when i come back and my number passed... but when i came back, still i was waiting; the number in was 13... finally its 14... two more and it will be me... but the phone rang and the doctor answered it... minutes passed and she was still on the phone... deep inside, i kept cursing--thinking of ways on how to make her put down that god damn phone... after 25 minutes, the phone was down... and after 40 minutes more of the excruciating pain, it's finally my turn...

i told the doctor of my pain and she too had a thought that this might be appendicitis.. i told her everything and she said that this can also be because of the laxative. upon hearing this, i was thankful... she gave me medicine and suggested a natural and safer laxative, prune juice....

and now everything is normal...thank god everything is fine...

四十三.... the pissed, bored life

it all started with a summer outing which was very enjoyable.
たのしい　夏休み　が　すべて　の　はじまった。

everything was fine and relaxing and all. clean, fresh, white. laughter, joy, gladness. and now that im back in the city, the worst just happened.

i took the chance to be away from work last monday, 21st of may. i asked for a sick leave (muscle cramps and stomach ache which i really felt though if i didnt, i would have given another excuse). i was planning to surf the web the whole day.

i turned on my pc and was happy to be back online after 2 days of zero internet life. i was very pleased browsing at sites i love. i was just checking something when my pc rebooted. i thought it was ok because it already happened in the past. and then i was online again... not until it rebooted once more. then rebooted, and rebooted, and on and off and on and off.

i contacted a computer shop and brought my cpu there. paid for the taxi and went in. everything seems ok there. nothing is wrong. my pc started well. i waited for at least an hour and no rebooting happened. they used all the memory of my pc to make sure if it really wont happen but it didnt. so they cleaned my cpu and advised to reinstall and reformat my cpu. so i bought and external hard disk and paid for their service. went home and paid for a cab.

i plugged it in immediately when i got back and thought that it wont happen again. but i was wrong, it rebooted after a few minutes. now im pissed, i brought my cpu to a friends' house and plugged it there. and to my surprise, it worked well for straight 2 hours... i transferred important files to my mobile hd with hassle. now im puzzled. what do these places have that i dont?

i went back home and reinstalled my operating system(a pirated windows xp professional). i got no problem while doing it. i thought it would reboot in a short while in the middle of the installation but it didnt. i was now glad and hoping that maybe the problem will now be solved. i turned it back on and yoohoo it rebooted once more. f@%k...

i went back to work the next day although i felt drained. at work, all i can think was my pc. i asked my collegues and friends about this and their guess was as good as mine. they suggested that i should buy an avr.one ven suggested that the problem lies with the house and to fix the prob, we should transfer to a new house. of course i cant do the latter so i tried the first. i paid for the avr and bought it home. wow!!!! it didnt help either.

yesterday at the office, i told everyone of the good news--my life sucked. now another advised thats maybe its with the extension cord. and the fool i am, i bought one immediately. we now have a collection of extension cords at home.

now i can say that maybe its with the electricity. yes, its with the house. i have no idea why or how but i can say its with the house. im now advised to buy a ups but im skeptical on this. i should first know if this is really the solution. i just cant waste money now or ill be broke. the next pay day is still far away. im thinking of calling the computer shop again and ask for their advise, or even call the power company on their idea on this.

to be continued...
うつつ。。。

the stupid reason of the stubborn man (trenta y quatro)

i now know the reason of the commotion yesterday. the friends of the stubborn man told my friend. and i was so shocked with the shallowness.

the stubborn attacker thought that i was teasing him. he heard me say "tito tita tito tita" which i never did. i was murmuring "koibito koibito" the whole time in that class. koibito is a Japanese word for lover. he heard me wrongly. the "lover" became the cause of the commotion.

i told him by message about this. he was too stubborn to admit his mistake. he has too much pride to even ask for forgiveness. he even gave me a threat instead that i should do it again if i want to get hurt. well, if ever i get hurt, all my close friends already know the guy to jail. if ever i get hurt, expect this to reach higher authorities.

if he was logical, he should have analyzed that teasing him is such a waste of time for me. why would a mere acquaintance tease him? be logical dude. and please admit mistakes next time. doing such would definitely gain you more honor.

PS: tomorrow, we will meet again in the same class. hope nothing happens.

encounter with the unexpected (trenta y tres)

its started with a training. i was being myself because i was with friends. i was having conversations with friends, people who i feel comfortable with. i was the usual me who smiles and laughs and joke around. everything went well especially when i knew that snacks was to be in mcdo.

when i went out, this mister tall guy approached and bumped me. i thought it was not intentional at first. but he kept on pushing me then he talked something to me. i now started wondering what it was i did. i have no clue as to what he was saying. we was furious ready to have a brawl. i was looking up at his face trying to figure out what he was saying and what i got was something like: "what do you want?", "you started it.", "we don't know each other so why bother me.". he said this over and over while i was asking him what it was i did. but he would not listen. i was left clueless walking inside the room.

i have never encountered such a situation before. wait.. i did encounter something like it but at least it was with a friend. it was a first with someone i only knew by face and by name, but have no clue as to what his personality is. and so now i am thinking as to what it could have been.

did i say something which offended him? and why would i do that in the first place if i barely knew the guy? did i hurt his pride one way or another? as much as i can remember, i was watching a movie late in the afternoon, went to mcdo with a friend at 5:45, returned to the office and entered the room, waited and attended class in there. of course he was there as well but we never talked. i was talking with others. i don't even know if he was chatting as well. i was smiling and happy during the class. i never expected this to happen.

I'm just thankful that i have friends who comforted me. i guess this is a sign that we really cant please everybody. i guess this is a sign that i should be more attentive to the people around me. i think its a sign for me to stand up and defend myself for once. somethings just don't go as expected so we better prepare for them.

i just hate the feeling that i am picked at and i don't even know what my fault is.