memories of yesterdays

I just saw "the vow" and wow, it struck me in a way. How misserable could life be if suddenly someone forgets about you? How painful could it get if the one you love don't even recognize you anymore? and somehow, this felt not so foreign to me at all. In a way, i have experienced the same. It is not as life changing as car crashes nor amnesia. But still i can relate to some extent.

All of a sudden everything changed. It got bland. It's as if the past got totally erased from his mind. we were so close back then and then suddenly, bam!, goodbye. and it hurts so badly seeing him suddenly change. it pains me that he no longer talks nonsense to me. i don't know what triggered it. i don't know what the catalyst of the change was. but i do know the pain after. and the worst part was that he was totally healthy; no head injuries, no amnesia. totally healthy and even getting fatter each day.

we were not in a relationship. so how much more painful could it be in "the vow"'s case? i just can't imagine and i don't want to have the same fate. but then in the movie, the character tried and succeeded. and became happy again for regaining their past happiness. but for my case, err.... yeah i tried. and we talked about it. he reassured that nothing changed. but yet... deep in me i knew that it was not the same. from then i lost faith... the joy was good while it lasted... it will serve nothing but a memory and a lesson well learned. but don't get me wrong, i am happy now.

this really sucked. for bringing back those memories. for making me write about him again, "the vow" must really be effective. "the vow" was a painful journey but yet it ended happily. who doesn't want a movie to end on a good note? everyone wishes for a happy ending, don't we?

nostalgia

nostalgic.

at this very moment last year, i was preparing for departure back home.
had a big echo karaoke session till a little past midnight.
spent my last remaining days in the company of friends.
so nostalgic...

japan has been good to me.
it gave me lots.

tomorrow is my anniversary.
anniversary for my return to the philippines.

somehow, i wonder.
will i ever be back in the land of the rising sun?
and if i will be, what new wall shall i break?
japan allowed me to break some shell i hid myself in.
it is easier to do that when you are away from the prying eyes of most people you know.

somehow, i think.
are the bonds i shared with friends left back there strong enough to withstand time?
i really hope they are.
for if not for them, i couldn't imagine what misery i could have experienced.

i couldn't be thankful enough for the whole package.
for the whole 2 years and 3 months stay, i would still opt for the same ride when asked now.
that chapter of my life has closed and a new chapter has been written.
but chapters can be revisited and even relived.
and revisiting memories is what i am doing now.

happy 1 year stay back home!

below are the recollections of a past that will never be forgotten.

first time in onsen (hot spring bath)

first time watching live baseball

first ski experience

first time seeing japanese emperor live

enjoyed the beach and realized those at home were better

and was it love?!? i don't know

first fishing trip ever. caught lots of fish including seastars

first major trip (aquarium-strawberry-boat)

first hanami

first time away far away on our own (hachijoujima)

climbed mt fuji (first mountain climbed)

in a huge philippine crowd

went hanabi in a yukata

first day road trip (nanadaro)

and first night bus

first in a sunflower field

and first time to a bbq party

how high can they jump

and how good the nights can be

how great colleagues i got

and how great scarfs i have :P

even tried ice skating

or rather ice walking

with the golden leaves of fall

and the magic of izu

went down south to kyoto

and nara, osaka and kobe

even tried betting on a horse

and overnight drills to boot

saw big things

and jdrama landmark of ebisu

and buddha himself in kamakura

first hanabi in tachikawa

even frequented ginza though never for shopping

frequented aquariums

and dolphins

lady liberty in odaiba

and the great imperial palace

the ever lovely sakura

and the fast subways

and even faster rides

reached the tokyo tower

and these neon lights

the nonstop karaoke sessions

and the surprise of snow

will always keep me wanting for more, more of my exciting, powerful future