wet but dry

For some reason i cannot fathom, i happened to be with beautiful-eyes chan and loud-cook on a car. It was probably going somewhere for quite sometime now. We were so engrossed in a conversation i couldn't recall when we passed by a girl acquaintance. For some strange turn of events, we decided to take her with us and have some fucking good time with emphasis on fucking (yeah, this entry is a little for adults only. sorry guys, but i got to write what i got to write). The plan was to have some girl with beautiful-eyes and then me with beautiful-eyes action. I couldn't imagine how great that must be for eyes-chan but it must also be tiring and stressful.

So off we went to loud-cook's abode so we can start at the earliest. With only some drinks offered but never accepted, the girl and eyes-chan undressed and caressed each other: slowly and passionately until only their undies were left--black and purple (i'm very much colorblind but those sure were undies). Lips were so locked up that air couldn't possibly enter. It was hot. HOT hot! Piping HOT hot! And sorry but i couldn't contain myself from not joining the fun. I just had too. I was driven by lust and nothing else. I even forgot what i was there for. My sexuality was out of the question. I just had to do it. I fondled the girl's pinkish part. Yeah i did. And yeah it was wet. But as my fingers tried to dug in further, the girl shrunk and shrunk to the point that even my pinky couldn't fit in any longer. It was a disaster! And a total turn off. It's as if she wouldn't allow any part of me to enter her. Was i that disgusting or horrible to her? I couldn't tell. But the moment i got away, she puffed back to normal and they continued their joy to the last drop. It must have been great, they were covered in sweat. It must have been sweet. And i want to have my share.

It was my turn to get happy finally. And i was excited, or at least some part of me was. I allowed some time for eyes-chan to recover. But the doorbell rang. Damn! A friend of the cook's came. Total disaster! So i waited for him to leave. And it seemed like ages has passed. I got engrossed in the conversation as well.

Then i realized that i was left alone with the girl. And i was comforting her for some reason. In that situation i had bigger issues than her; where are eyes-chan and the cook? The girl talked like crazy: a soliloquy but with me in it. She was complaining about her life. No one has loved her ever since. Hmmm... familiar story; she must have read my autobiography. She was crying and sappy in my arms when eyes-chan and the cook came back. It appeared that eyes-chan and the cook went to church. They must be repenting for whatever sins they are about to commit to my willing body. I gave a smile; I can see the hunger in eyes-chan's eyes and i loved it. Who am i to deny such earthly pleasures? That was enough for me. As we were about to satiate our carnal desires, the doorbell rang, again.

Relatives of the cook were welcomed in and it seems they were not going anywhere else for quite some time. What? It was a disaster? I haven't even touched flesh! I haven't even unbuckled my belt. Prolonging my pleasure for the second time was not what i was looking for. I was desperate but i am not an exhibitionist. This was a dilemma i cannot solve. I was planning to be as expressive (read as noisy) as i can. But all of it turned to waste. Eyes-chan and the cook were also frustrated. But how should we proceed?

I had to wake up from this nightmare, that was the answer. And i did... frustrated...

It was not the pleasure i was after. But it was the frustration from having to wait. It was a bad timing but hindered twice must be an omen. I shouldn't be frustrated by a dream, i know. But this one seemed like a reflection of the reality... I am still single... I am still a virgin.

But i can still dream. Which means that i can still sleep. Which means that i will still be waking up in tomorrow's present.

What a dry wet dream... Nightmare!

ideal type

hmmm. after 2 days of working out, i thought that i should have a goal. as my instructor told me, numeric goals (ideal weight and time frame) are more practical. so i went home last tuesday with this in mind. what is my goal???? what do i want to achieve???

for the time frame, that is quite easy. i should reach my goal before our family reunion this december end. very near. it is a month from now. uhhhh... scary.

now the weight is more difficult. at 24.5 BMI, my weight is normal to my height. but it's in the upper category-- overweight starts at 25 BMI. i then searched the net for a goal. browsed... browsed... but the answer came from old emails. spare me from your questions about the email contents please. and right there and then it became my phone wallpaper. i just had to see it everyday to remind me of my goal. thank you very much to the anonymous who shared this picture in my mailbox.

satisfied with my find, i shared it to my colleagues the day after. they said the body was great, but they don't want me to be like that. it won't fit me they said. well, who can blame them? me and the picture/wallpaper are complete opposites. i've always been this lovable creature but the damn wallpaper was oozing with sexiness hot. as in HOT!!! definitely my type... hmmm... ideal body type. wait that might sound something else. i want to have that body... hmmm... that still sounds wrong. wahahahaha.

as the years go by

i can't help but wonder... ano kaya ang mangyayari kung naging kami?

wahahahha. wishful thinking lang naman, ano ba kayo. hayaan nyo na ako. kung bakit ba kasi ang torpe torpe ko. ni di ko nga magawang sabihin sa kanya what i'm feeling inside. di gaya ng iba dyan na kung meron mang nararamdaman ay raratsada na agad. hay nako. why is it so hard for me to do the same?

hanggang tingin na lang siguro ako. hanggang silip... hanggang imahenasyon... hanggang... oi over na 'to. baka anong sabihin ng iba dyan. wholesome po ako. kahit makita ko lang ang mga mata nyang nangbibighani habang iniisa-isa nyang hinuhubad ang suot nyang damit ok na sa akin yun. ooops. bweset na keyboard, kahit ano sinusulat. anyway, nakakatunaw kasi mga mata nya. ohhh your eyes your eyes uh uhm uh uhm... shining... (di alam ang lyrics, pasensya). at ang ngiti... bakit ba kasi ganito mga type ko? stop it! stop it!

kung naging kami siguro, buhay ang mundo ko. i'm not saying that it is dead now. i'm not even saying that it is not colorful. well, i think you could say that it would have been brighter and enjoyable. never monotonous. always fun. hmmm... baka magka anne curtis moment din ako, yes i enjoyed it and i'm sure the feeling is mutual.

teka teka, ang layo na nang narating ng utak pero zero sa reality. hay. ikaw naman tumingin sa akin o. kakapagod nang sumilip eh. kahit once lang tapos mag smile ka lang... kodak moment na. wahahahha. hintayin mo na lang ang pag-gigym ko. maaakit ka din ng mga muscles ko. wahahha. bola. at nanaginip na nga ng gising. tinuloy na talaga.

sige lang. libre lang naman mangarap. at ayaw ko din namang mang-agaw kung may nagmamay-ari na (cristine in purple, ikaw na nga). hay buhay. i-blow mo na ang candles mo at ng matigil na ang ilusyon. ay bibili pa pala ako ng cake. bye na muna.

sugarcoated lips

there i was... staring at something somewhere far. then suddenly this man came. i called him up and said hi. he recognized me and came to me.

and here he comes.

closer.

and closer...

hey this is too close better stop now, i thought.

his face was just inches from mine.

and then he kissed me...

gosh... it must have been great coz i kissed back. it was a long passionate kiss. i must have savored each moment of it. then reality struck me, and pushed him back.

i felt rather shy when it ended and asked him why. he just said that there were white-sugary stuff on my lips and he wanted to clean it up. and then kissed me again for the second time to clean it up completely.

i was in awe--puzzled to what just happened.

but he just smiled. such a sweet smile it was...
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then i woke up.

weird dream. the sweet kisser was an office mate. never expected that but then dreams are nothing but dreams.

went to work and there he was.

50.... rebirth

was it three or four months since i last wrote a blog entry???? i am struggling with this now. i don't know if i can keep up. i just have lots of things to do lately and i think it will be like that for a year.

well but I'm here now, what should i say? hmmm.... after the long break, lots of things have happened in my life. i don't know where to start.

well you might have already heard it but I'm saying it anyway, I'm in japan right now. yeah its true... it still seems like a dream to me up to this day. but after 4 months of waking up each day, I'm still here in japan. somehow, i am still thinking when this dream would end. when i think of it i cant think of any good reason why i was sent here. (too much humility in there huh.....). i knew of this plan long before but i never believed it.

the first time I've heard of it was kind of an accident. i went out for snacks and when i came back, i went directly to the room with our test machines since i was planning to test something out. to my surprise, the senior members of my team is having a meeting in there (huh uh...)  with a bod (double huh uh...) and is about to start. and there is no way to escape because they all saw me and invited me in. hey, what is this that I'm dragged into???? what is this about huh??!?!?!? tell me, tell me... i just smiled throughout the meeting with no idea in mind. in there i have learned that the bod is actually planning to send the attendees to japan (am i part of it???). they want us all to have an experience of japan and the way things operate in there. i never believed it back then since i was only a freshie, i hardly had a year of experience, i was never part of the original attendees of the meeting.... and come on... they are taking me to japan??? impossible... are they crazy???? what were they thinking??? i have no passport and i am bound to the Philippines by a scholarship.

but look at where i am now. the past is past. some impossibilities do happen. (i was about to write "and the rest is history" but nah.... its too cliche... but i still wrote it though...)

what has japan taught me so far? lots actually... ill tell of them in the future.