scarier than halloween

and now im back after a month's hiatus. who would have thought that i'd completely skip october? this project is just insane. imagine 14 hours of work 5 times a week... i am drag...

but for these couple of weeks i was gone, i did not allow myself to drown in despair... no no... not my style at all. while i worked my butts off on weekdays, i let loose on weekends... hmmm... not really but never mind, you know what i mean probably. wahihihi. limited rest indeed! if i were in a similar situation back in the philippines, i will surely whither in no time. (family is not part of the comparison of course. nothing beats the comforts of family. V(^o^)V ) good thing im not!

updates... hmm... well, too bad now though that a new law was passed in japan. p2p downloading is now prohibited!!! now what is the use of a fast internet connection if downloading is illegal, you may ask. well, streaming is still allowed though so i'm not that panicky yet. (who downloads porn these days? oops... slip of the finger. wahihihi) but it really was a huge blow though. finding online versions of your favorite movies and series can be a little frustrating. it takes skill to know what keywords to search for. lol... the new law somehow minimized my things to do when bored in japan.

but who needs internet when there is...

food!!! yum yum

oooops.. that last one was intended. lol.

and...

in transit

transitions are hard to handle, i know this first hand. when in transition it means that something new is here; something new is creeping into your stable existence. and whether you like it or not, it will stay giving you no other choice but to have a transition. a transition from the old to the new: from the usual to the unknown.

it is always hard knowing what ticks the other. and yes you will be doing it again since you are in transition. there is that element of surprise as you go by again. "what to do and what not to do" is another question that keeps lingering. an uncertain period it surely is.

but transition periods usually determine how the future will be. whether you will be happy or not depends on how well you handled a transition period.

expect me not to back down during this period... coz i won't... my stable existence will remain stable and it will not be shaken. i won't allow it. it will pass and we will all be on our wings flying. but unlike icarus who fell, we will soar and be successful.

wet but dry

For some reason i cannot fathom, i happened to be with beautiful-eyes chan and loud-cook on a car. It was probably going somewhere for quite sometime now. We were so engrossed in a conversation i couldn't recall when we passed by a girl acquaintance. For some strange turn of events, we decided to take her with us and have some fucking good time with emphasis on fucking (yeah, this entry is a little for adults only. sorry guys, but i got to write what i got to write). The plan was to have some girl with beautiful-eyes and then me with beautiful-eyes action. I couldn't imagine how great that must be for eyes-chan but it must also be tiring and stressful.

So off we went to loud-cook's abode so we can start at the earliest. With only some drinks offered but never accepted, the girl and eyes-chan undressed and caressed each other: slowly and passionately until only their undies were left--black and purple (i'm very much colorblind but those sure were undies). Lips were so locked up that air couldn't possibly enter. It was hot. HOT hot! Piping HOT hot! And sorry but i couldn't contain myself from not joining the fun. I just had too. I was driven by lust and nothing else. I even forgot what i was there for. My sexuality was out of the question. I just had to do it. I fondled the girl's pinkish part. Yeah i did. And yeah it was wet. But as my fingers tried to dug in further, the girl shrunk and shrunk to the point that even my pinky couldn't fit in any longer. It was a disaster! And a total turn off. It's as if she wouldn't allow any part of me to enter her. Was i that disgusting or horrible to her? I couldn't tell. But the moment i got away, she puffed back to normal and they continued their joy to the last drop. It must have been great, they were covered in sweat. It must have been sweet. And i want to have my share.

It was my turn to get happy finally. And i was excited, or at least some part of me was. I allowed some time for eyes-chan to recover. But the doorbell rang. Damn! A friend of the cook's came. Total disaster! So i waited for him to leave. And it seemed like ages has passed. I got engrossed in the conversation as well.

Then i realized that i was left alone with the girl. And i was comforting her for some reason. In that situation i had bigger issues than her; where are eyes-chan and the cook? The girl talked like crazy: a soliloquy but with me in it. She was complaining about her life. No one has loved her ever since. Hmmm... familiar story; she must have read my autobiography. She was crying and sappy in my arms when eyes-chan and the cook came back. It appeared that eyes-chan and the cook went to church. They must be repenting for whatever sins they are about to commit to my willing body. I gave a smile; I can see the hunger in eyes-chan's eyes and i loved it. Who am i to deny such earthly pleasures? That was enough for me. As we were about to satiate our carnal desires, the doorbell rang, again.

Relatives of the cook were welcomed in and it seems they were not going anywhere else for quite some time. What? It was a disaster? I haven't even touched flesh! I haven't even unbuckled my belt. Prolonging my pleasure for the second time was not what i was looking for. I was desperate but i am not an exhibitionist. This was a dilemma i cannot solve. I was planning to be as expressive (read as noisy) as i can. But all of it turned to waste. Eyes-chan and the cook were also frustrated. But how should we proceed?

I had to wake up from this nightmare, that was the answer. And i did... frustrated...

It was not the pleasure i was after. But it was the frustration from having to wait. It was a bad timing but hindered twice must be an omen. I shouldn't be frustrated by a dream, i know. But this one seemed like a reflection of the reality... I am still single... I am still a virgin.

But i can still dream. Which means that i can still sleep. Which means that i will still be waking up in tomorrow's present.

What a dry wet dream... Nightmare!

wants and wishes

i just stumbled upon this block of letters above that i would like to share with you guys. this actually came from twitter (i'm completely ripping it off @iTweetFacts' tweet ). what amazes me though is how it claims to tell you what you want in life. i mean, seriously? can a random block of letters really tell me what i want? skeptic but i did gave it a try in the end.

LOVE - hmmm. interesting! hmmm yeah! who doesn't want love? duh! but secretly, i was pondering over this for quite some time now. seriously, i'm starting to think about settling down. i want to have my own home where i can return to, my own family who will welcome me and kiss me when i get back from work, my own private harem. oops! all of these except the last, can only be realized with love. so yeah, i wanted it. i'm craving for it in fact.

HAPPINESS - wow! this i can also understand. who doesn't want to be happy? hello?!?!?! with so much negativity around, to be happy seems like a privilege. surprisingly, i have started to block out the negative thoughts recently. in fact, the best advice i got yesterday was for me to block all the people who will only give me wrinkles. so far, i think i have done well. i want to give myself a pat in the back (this is not in the block of letters though, T^T ). reconsider old hobbies, uncover pent up emotions, explore the unexplored facets of me -- these are my plans to happiness.

EXPERIENCE - bwahahahaha. exposed!!! and i was about to call this letter block a hoax. bwahahhaha... yeah i am a virgin in many ways. so... yeah, i want to experience many things in many ways. on second thought, i need to experience them ASAP. this made me laugh, for goodness sake. this block of letters can really tell what you want in life. i can attest to that.


try it and see its power. :D

better left unsaid

There are things better left unsaid. Last friday was a little bare all for me. Why were they suddenly asking those questions?

It was a little embarrassing. Really, i do get shy as well. I was embarrassed and got red too. If not for some alcohol (alcohol loosens the tongue, though i'm not yet drunk but at least i'm good in acting) i wouldn't be able to answer those. With charm hopefully... who would have thought that they would ask about my sexuality? Hmm. Next topic please -- if i had the choice but that would be so uncool. No charm at all. And besides, i know that i will have to deal with it sometime... with people who matters most. Better try to explain now and gain some confidence, practice should i say?

All i got left was to say what i feel, that is not hard at all. But that made them more confused. Who wouldn't be? I'm confused myself; i wouldn't expect them not to be. Bwahhaha. Just allow me to explore some more and then maybe i will have the answer by then. But right now i am an asexual being. Oh wait, that is not the right term but i haven't thought much about that so let me explore both worlds for now. Whoever comes and makes me happy, i would gladly accept. The lack of experience is a big part of it...

And that makes all the difference.

But what shocked me more was how others handled the same question. Awkward but it doesn't matter. The question was awkward in the first place. And who wants to talk that stuff with your boss? No one! Hope my mouth saved him a bit, let all the attention be mine for something this weird.

Better left unsaid right? It'd better be.


PS. the thai food was great. Spicy but great. But whatever comes in, needs to come out. Imagine how spicy that was. bwahahahha.