54 - designer labels

why are people giving labels??? why should there be labels to all
things??? does it always have to be like that???? why can't just there
be gray areas in between black and white???? does giving labels mean
that they know persons all that much???? and even make them feel
greater???? or even better???? do you even know how the other feels by
doing such????

i'm just so very confused and very disappointed right now...

people you think you are confident to share things with have turned back against you....

how do you think i feel after all these????

too bad... i better shut up now...
 

53-- onsite

I'm tired... people back home expects that there is less work here... they often thought of how lucky we are...

yes, we are lucky. i am blessed in fact. who would have expected that one day i was just a brat in Cebu and the next, I'm a brat in japan.... nothing much changed, i am still a brat. but yeah, i am a traveling brat... but guess what, this traveling brat is full of burdens.... colleagues at home expect less work??????  less work their a$$e$... facing clients is a hard job OK... we are the front liners if this were a war.... we are the first ones who die.... so don't they ever dare say that again... there black a$$e$ receive the last blow...

and you know what, here is another thing. i cannot get a leave in here.... i have never taken a leave for the past 7 months... amazing!!!!!!!!!! if i were back home, a slight pain would be a major cause for a leave... if it were as easy as before..... but no its not.... who gets to face the clients when i come back the next day???? it is still me... who gets all the trouble, me.... so forget about vacations..... it is just not worth it.

and now i am doing nothing for the 2nd time this week... and today is a Friday... i was expecting lots of work and even a bug report today, but yes, none came.... blessed.... i got the time to create this blog... but then again, I've got to be careful... if people find out that i did nothing, they might give me some work... got to pretend doing something....

end this now before i continue on...

52 ---- love nasad

i have just read a short story on love, 20 questions by Juan ekis. i was shocked by the sincerity of the piece. there was no beating around the bush. one plot is all there is. i hope i can write something like it. but nope, i don't know how to write narratives. have tried to in high school (not really tried on my own but forced to write as an assignment). i suck at writing stories. if i write one, it will surely go in circles.

anyway, the story was on friends. their barkada have this prank on them and they were locked in the room for 3 days during a vacation trip. of course, they can do whatever they like. the male was principled. he has his idea of what is right and wrong. the woman was practical. well she seems practical but deep inside, she is a hopeless romantic. she has experienced many things.

now the two of them started this game where they ask questions to each other. a total of 20 questions, they have to answer honestly to each. they asked on there future plans, secrets, love life, crushes, sex, etc. and all of a sudden, the magic started between them. the last question was "don't you want to kiss me?", and probably you know what happened, the story ended.

i was hooked by the sincerity and simplicity of it.



now lets stop this drama. i have kept all this pent up emotions deep within. i am totally confused, i am over thinking on simple things. i have watched "kimi wa petto" (you are my pet) yesterday though i have not finished the series yet and i totally feel the same sentiments as the main character. she is a successful woman in her field, graduated from a famous university, elite as her colleagues say, and men are afraid of her. all she seeks is true love but her lovers get insecure of her accomplishments. as for me, i graduated from one of the best school if not the best. though I'm not  really sure if I'm successful in this field but hopefully i am. but...  ...

hey....

wait a minute...

what am i talking about???? i am not looking for love. i am waiting for love to bump me in the head. i am waiting for the bells and music when i meet that person. i am a lazy person so ill wait.... if you are the right one then come to my place, bring a bell and talk to me.

ill probably think you are it.

ever dearest.... 51

dear ---,


why are you like that? your aura is cocky... i hate it. i understand why you talk that way but no matter how i rationalize things, it still doesnt seem right. you had my respect, you are my senior. but it doesnt mean that you can order me around. no way! theres just no way. i may just laugh at your remarks but too much is too much... i may act foolish but i also think.... you may be amazed that this brain of mine can hold more info than yours....


dear ***,


be more strong... you should not let anybody push you around.... i know you can do it. just remember that you have come this far to throw it all back..... you have surpassed more difficult situations before, why cant you do it this time????? people judge but dont let those comments affect you.... the best thing when you are looked down is proving that you are better.... just look at their faces when you rise and smirk, smile a little.... wahahahahahah.... bitch....

50.... rebirth

was it three or four months since i last wrote a blog entry???? i am struggling with this now. i don't know if i can keep up. i just have lots of things to do lately and i think it will be like that for a year.

well but I'm here now, what should i say? hmmm.... after the long break, lots of things have happened in my life. i don't know where to start.

well you might have already heard it but I'm saying it anyway, I'm in japan right now. yeah its true... it still seems like a dream to me up to this day. but after 4 months of waking up each day, I'm still here in japan. somehow, i am still thinking when this dream would end. when i think of it i cant think of any good reason why i was sent here. (too much humility in there huh.....). i knew of this plan long before but i never believed it.

the first time I've heard of it was kind of an accident. i went out for snacks and when i came back, i went directly to the room with our test machines since i was planning to test something out. to my surprise, the senior members of my team is having a meeting in there (huh uh...)  with a bod (double huh uh...) and is about to start. and there is no way to escape because they all saw me and invited me in. hey, what is this that I'm dragged into???? what is this about huh??!?!?!? tell me, tell me... i just smiled throughout the meeting with no idea in mind. in there i have learned that the bod is actually planning to send the attendees to japan (am i part of it???). they want us all to have an experience of japan and the way things operate in there. i never believed it back then since i was only a freshie, i hardly had a year of experience, i was never part of the original attendees of the meeting.... and come on... they are taking me to japan??? impossible... are they crazy???? what were they thinking??? i have no passport and i am bound to the Philippines by a scholarship.

but look at where i am now. the past is past. some impossibilities do happen. (i was about to write "and the rest is history" but nah.... its too cliche... but i still wrote it though...)

what has japan taught me so far? lots actually... ill tell of them in the future.