(57) clueless... part 2

its been awhile since my head drifted off somewhere... and surprisingly, i allowed it to drift off. last week was a complete mess, so many deadlines to meet and people to beat.... but now is a completely different story... earlier, i thought of having a good day... i mailed people expecting some replies but no... nothing came... absolutely no replies... it is very disappointing to have no progress at all... oops, you might think that this is the perfect life for you; a life with nothing to do at all is what everyone wishes.... i thought so too, but nah... a life with nothing to do is like a traffic light in a farming village. might as well stop it and save electricity than keep it up and serve no purpose. with the feeling i have now, i would rather be in a coffin buried deep down the earth.. it is that boring today... I'm totally alone with no one else to talk to, or with no energy at all to open my jaw and speak up...

my seatmate is not here, she is dead today... imagine how you would feel after attending a birthday party miles away from home... she was dead even before she left... i couldn't imagine it to be worse.. i didn't know that a dead man could still die... how dead can a dead man be, this was what was running through my head hearing her cough all night... double dead meat...

my other seatmate, well it's always hard to catch him during the day... he was here for a while and we joked but i just couldn't find the energy to keep up with it... it's not that we don't talk often, i do enjoy our conversations, but it's just that he has so many others to talk to as well... and they talk in Japanese, of all the languages why talk in something i'm not fluent in... naturally, the conversation dwindled to a natural death...

now with no one to talk to but myself, sleep is the worst enemy... i've tried reading my book, memoirs of a geisha, and i'm on the near-end chapters but this only fueled sleep... the more i kept on, the more heavy my lids became... don't get me wrong, the book was fun... but the last few chapters were gloomy and all... my brain must have told my lids to close and gain stars than keep on imagining a war full of dead people all over...

now my brain is bringing me back to the sober days, when words spoken went freely without barrier... i can still remember how i have heard conversations on men with their exploits with women... i can still hear the descriptions used on the ways of carnal desires... and i was only disgusted.. and then i remembered the reasons women use for getting what they wanted... i can clearly picture the scenes when they reasoned out that women deserves only the best... and with this, i too felt disgusted... men should keep their adventures to themselves, it is not an award to be bragged... women should find more clever reasons to be cherished-- being a 'woman' is just an overused cliche (double impact for that...). and here i am being cynical about others but never learning. I'm just a self righteous prick... i see the wrongs but i too have mistakes to take focus on... maybe i should work on them more... but today is just not that day...

now the day's end is near and people will be slowly going out... still i'm doing nothing... yes there were occasional calls and i am happy to have them but my brain is still far-way, never been back from the sailing adventure it took earlier... this post has reached this length but still i don't know if i've written much or to continue on... this paragraph surely sounds like a closing statement... but i'm not even sure how to close something i have never opened...

now they're telling jokes of me, but i'm just too tired and sleepy to argue...

just let them be for now...

56 - ang mungos...

ug sa dihang ang bisdak naabot sa japan, didto ra siya nakaamgo kung unsa kalami ang mungos.... bow....

murag duha na kami ka adlaw nagsige ug hisgot sa mungos... unsa man gud diay ba ang anaa sa mungos??? kung ako pa ang pasultihon, pulo na ko ka buwan nganhi sa japan pero karon pa gyud intawon ako nakatilaw ug balik sa malamian na mungos.. ug kung nganong mungos ang nahisulod sa alimpatakan sa mga tawo, ambot kana wala gyud ko kasabot....

upat kami na nagbahin sa duha ka plastik sa mungos na among gipalit... kung wala koy katunga ato, aw di sad gyud ko mupalit oi... kakapoy ug luto ug munggos ah... kadaghan ana ug steps... maayo unta ug itak-ang lang unya maluto ra ug iyaha... hala... lat-an pa baya ang mungos unya mag-gisa pa unya sabawan... kakapoy ah... ang hulugason pa gyud... di na madala oi... ug mao kadto ang background sa mungos na gipalit.. igo ra ko mukaon ani ug dili gyud movolunteer ug luto... magkinamatay pa, dili gyud...

"ang mungos na gilat-an na gibutang sa prejeder, mabaho ba kaha kadto????" mao kani ang gipanghunahuna sa mga tawo niadtong domingo... gilat-an ra ha... kana ganing gipabukalan pa... wala pay subak... of course, dili sad ako ang naglata ato... wahahah... mungos man among gisud-an pagka sabado unya gidaghan na lang ug lata kay pwerte man gud dugaya lat-an aning munggos... kagagmay ra man unta aning lisuha, pwerte man gahia... mao to ang giplanuhan na lutuon inig ka domingo sa gabii, panihapon unta... ug kay pwerte man gayud pagkatyming sa laag.... ang mungos dili na gayud maluto... "hot topic" kaayo ang mungos oi sa among lakwatsa... murag tanan nalang ipasangil sa mungos... "adto ta sa amo na, pakan-on mo namo ug mungos", yuna pa nila... abi nako ug hangtud aning adlawa ra ang mungos... apan....

pagka ugma, hagba tanang tawo... berthday sa among kauban so nagbinuntagay mi ug tagay... wahahah.. kinsa pa ba gud ang makahunahuna ug luto sa mungos unya... maabtan pa man siguro ug martes ang mungos, matud ko.... wahahha...

oi, giluto ang mungos!!! wala kami nagdungan ug kaon, kay nangatulog pa ang uban... pagkaon nako kay daghan pa man to... nagkuha ko ug usa ka bowl, usual na serving sa mungos na tag-singko... aw lami kaayo ang akong kaon oi... ug sa dihang pagka taud-taud na kay nireklamo man ang katapusan na nakakaon kay gamay na man lang kaayo ang mungos na nahibilin... hala.... asa na man ang mungos na pwerting daghana ganiha???? aw, nahupay ra sad to kay wala man gipansin....

pagka gabii na, nagpalit ug cake among kauban kay lagi birthday man niya.... alangan man ug mukaon diritso sa cake, di nanihapon pa sila.... ug didto, nanggawas ang uban pang mungos... nagtago diay sila ug mungos kay ilang isud-an inig kagabii... hala, gawas nasad tanang isturya sa mungos....

english version to follow...

maskara 55

if feelings were as free flowing as the wind, it might be easier to express everything i'm feeling. unfortunately, mine is not. if mine were, then it would be like a hurricane spreading havoc to all. i don't want that to happen... so i'd rather not tell... i don't wanna wear a mask but who doesn't??? people wear a mask at some point in their lives. in my case, my mask has "keeping quite" written all over it.

i guess people have realized that i don't really open up personal stuffs. this is really not my forte. i hate to share because i might not be able to contain my words.... i might spill out more than asked... i'm a good listener though and i have never spilled out what others have shared to me... and i'm sorry but i've got a bad memory so i guess that makes me the best secret keeper... over time, even i forget the secrets told so how could i even share them... now before i drift into that topic more and more, i better go back to my point... i hate to share my feelings because i too, have not yet figured it out..... this is the harsh reality of it... i haven't figured out myself yet... so when people ask something, i just shrug my shoulders without saying anything...that is the best answer i have come up...

my zodiac sign agrees to my mask too... look at how they view scorpios.... aside from being sexy, romantic, loyal, great kisser, it always says that scorpios are secretive... the other adjectives are quite obvious (reserve your comments later...) though i still don't know about the great kisser part... anyone wants to volunteer??? ohh i forgot... they also mention that scorpios are great lovers... another volunteer needed for this too... but secretive is always there.. i don't know if people around me knows that i'm secretive... they tell me their secrets so maybe they do... secretive people = good secret keepers... does that make sense??? to me it does... i've been told quite a lot and i've forgotten quite a lot too... but i have never told anyone of my secrets... i have never really shared them... oh sorry, i have told some of some... but there are still many feelings left untold... who doesn't have feelings left untold??? i guess this what makes each person interesting, discovering what secrets they hide... i just happen to have more of them...

ooopsss... of all the things i have mentioned, don't get me wrong ok... i may be secretive and not sharing much but i'm genuine.... though i cannot say "what you see is what you get" applies to me since there is more to me... but i'm not a tupperware (read as plastic) ok... i laugh at something funny, i get hurt when someone throw stones (physically and idiomatically)... i can be sarcastic too..

oh yeah, i have written this line up there "i hate to share my feelings because i too, have not yet figured it out"... i think this makes a good topic for the next blog... figuring out the unknown... wahahaha... i can now imagine what things to write. i'll surely go around in circles again...

and yeah, did you all know that i'm colorblind??? i guess you all do, that is not a secret at all... but i just don't share that fact to all... oh no... maybe i just did...