scarier than halloween

and now im back after a month's hiatus. who would have thought that i'd completely skip october? this project is just insane. imagine 14 hours of work 5 times a week... i am drag...

but for these couple of weeks i was gone, i did not allow myself to drown in despair... no no... not my style at all. while i worked my butts off on weekdays, i let loose on weekends... hmmm... not really but never mind, you know what i mean probably. wahihihi. limited rest indeed! if i were in a similar situation back in the philippines, i will surely whither in no time. (family is not part of the comparison of course. nothing beats the comforts of family. V(^o^)V ) good thing im not!

updates... hmm... well, too bad now though that a new law was passed in japan. p2p downloading is now prohibited!!! now what is the use of a fast internet connection if downloading is illegal, you may ask. well, streaming is still allowed though so i'm not that panicky yet. (who downloads porn these days? oops... slip of the finger. wahihihi) but it really was a huge blow though. finding online versions of your favorite movies and series can be a little frustrating. it takes skill to know what keywords to search for. lol... the new law somehow minimized my things to do when bored in japan.

but who needs internet when there is...

food!!! yum yum

oooops.. that last one was intended. lol.

and...

lusang gitisud

bisan ug asa ka pa anaa, naa gyuy mga panahon na wala kay lingaw. dinhi sa japan, kay pwerte man ka paspas sa internet, aw natural, ang among buhaton aning mga alaut na panahon kay may kalabutan sa internet.

sa usa ka adlaw'ng alaot, na bore gyud ko. ambot unsay nisulod sa akong utok atong mga panahuna nga nag-apil-apil man ko ug chatroom. pwerte sad nakong lingawa hinuon kay aligre man sab kaayo ang mga gipangchat sa mga tawo. pero mao lagi na, pareho sa kasagarang chatroom daghan sad kaayo mag flirt-flirt. nalibog gyud ko pero karong panahuna murag tanang tawo kay bigaon na man siguro oi. sorry kaayo sa term pero ambot oi, kung walay biga kay di man siguro managhan ang chatroom. aw naa sad bayay mga tarong sa sugod, pero biga ra gihapon ang padulngan (kasakit! naunay ko. wahahhaa).

nag hilom-hilom pa ko pag-una; lisod baya ning wala ka kahibalo pa kung unsay mga kalihukan. unya silang tanan kay murag dugay nang kaila baya. nagbasa-basa ra sa ko ug mga messages ug nagsigi ug agik-ik. sa wa lang damha nagreply na ko ug "lol @ pangan". mura ra sad ni'g akong kalaki sa facebook sad ba na kusog kaayo mo like. well unsaon ta man na wala may like sa chat gud. pwerte gyud nakong pagkalingaw sa ilang mga gipang isturyahan.

ug sa dihang naay ni message sa chatroom na nangita daw siya ug friend, kinsa daw ang ganahan. aw nimessage ra sad ko na ganahan ko. sa laktod na pagkaisturya, nag chat na mi sa skype. o sosyal, nag skype-skype na. sturya mi ug work, iyang uyab, ug iyang mga plano sa kinabuhi. ug kay naglisod baya ko'g filipino gamay, nagsige ra gyud ko ug ngisi. amaw-amawan lang ang show ba. nagpakita dayon siya ug pictures niya sa facebook, ug niingon na "ang panget ko no?". aw ang ako sad, care ko kung panget  na friendship ra baya gyud akong tuyo. ako na lang sad giclick. kung laing tawo ang motan-aw ato for sure normal ra gyud to na nawng. unya unsaon ta man na hilason man ko, taas-taas baya ko ug standards unya di man gyud siya kapasar... naglibog na dayon ko kung unsay itubag. alangan man sad ug ingnon nako na "ahh ikaw to? sige busy pala ako, chat you next time na lang". honest gyud diay siya, ako na lang gi-ingnan na "ahh ikaw to, angayan lagi imong uyab. (in filipino of course. bwahahhaha)". 

ug sa dihang nikalit na man siya ug ingon na love na daw ko niya. hala! kakuyaw! murag usa ka oras pa gani ta nagchat, unya diba naa man kay uyab? tanga-tangahan mode nasad ko, aw gikataw-an lang sad nako. palihis topic, gisukit-sukit ug maayo sa iyang uyab. nitubag ra sad ang kagwang. sa pagkadugay sa sturya, nibalik na sad ug "i love you". samoka! ako sad giingnan, "akala ko ba friends lang hinahanap mo?". ug gireplyan sad ko'g, "may kasunod yun, or a serious relationship. ano ba intindi mo dun?". aw ako ra sad giingnan na abi nako ug friendly relationship. unya nangutana dayon siya kung love sad daw ba nako siya. hala kuyawa! lupig pa man shotgun ani. mura siya'g lusa na lami tusdon (sugod karon, panganlan na siya nako'g lusa). while nagsige siya ug labyu-labyu nako, nagsige sad ug panghatag ug number ang kagwang sa chatroom. nagsige pa gyud ug panghagad ug eyeball sa bisan kinsa na lang tawo. ataka! mao na diay ni lab-lab run, "one-to-many relationship"? nahurt akong pride da, ako sad gireplyan sa chatroom na "go @ lusa". ug ni katawa ra sad. nibalik na sad ug chat nako sa skype na love lagi daw ko niya. ako sad siya giingnan na "di kasi ako naniniwala sa long distance relationship (samot na sa through chat lang no). but we are friends". winner!!! 

hangtud karon kay nagsige lang gihapon mi ug chat. aw don't get me wrong, lingaw man gyud siya ka chat kung dili lang maabot sa labyu-labyu. ako siya na-pangutana once na kung modemand ko na buwagan ang iyang uyab, iya bang buwagan. wow nice kaayo ang tubag, mao daw na ang kondisyon niya sa iyang mga nakarelasyon na dili daw niya buwagan iyang uyab. hala! unsa ni, disclaimer??? "no other woman" ang role nako ani da. bwahahhaha. di ko mabuhi ana oi. possessive baya ko, ang akong ganahan kay ako ra ang center sa iyang attention. kacute ra nako ah, dapat na siya makontento nako oi!

nalibog sad gyud ko kung nganong naa gyu'y mga tawo na feeling kaayo na god's gift to humanity sila. love as many as you can... share yourself to all... ang problema pa gyud kay kaning mga tawhana kay dili pa gyud kaayo mga ambongan. haller!!! lusa ra ka oi, wa ka nalipong??? "one-to-one" ra man gani si anne curtis ug si erwan(feeling close?!?!?!?!).

temporary boredom

in my 24years of existence, i have been thinking again. it's not that i am so bored today to even start this alien "thinking" hobby. yes i am bored but don't get me wrong, this thinking did not spark from there. though i admit, boredom may be a catalyst.

i have been thinking, why am i this bored today?

then i realized that i am not mentally challenged in my work now. i have lost interest. it has become a routine and i have been avoiding that from the start coz i know that this might mean the end. there is nothing out of the ordinary, everything seems normal and lifeless.

even my colleagues are leaving one by one. though i don't want to be left alone, but i can't stop them. it really is better for me to leave than be left behind. i just hate the feeling. i was so accustomed to them being around and then they fall. it is frustrating.

and then i thought, possibly i'm burnt out. i have been working all my life even before i graduated from the university. this is probably the downside of having some "brilliant" mind (self acclaimed).

and then...





(*stopped writing and found something interesting to do)

the poopie list

went home really late today... damn work. i had to ride the second to the last train. are they trying to kill me by making me work for 16 hours a day???

in one moment out of those 16 hours, i happened to search my old mails and found this one. it sure brought lots of memories. i really wanted to throw poopie bombs to my masters right now -- i don't care which type it is.

enjoy the...

POOPIE LIST

GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't runie them with a stain.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE: The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.

TURTLE POOPIE: The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out

POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.

GAS-SY POOPIE: The kind where it's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling!

DRINKER POOPIE: The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN POOPIE: (Self explanatory)

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOP POOPIE: The kind where you want to Poopie, but all you do is it on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE: (The Power Dump). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

LIQUID POOPIE: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

INDIAN POOPIE: The kind that smells so bad your nose burns.

UPPER CLASS POOPIE: The kind of Poopie that doesn't smell.

THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS---a Poopie!

THE DANGLING POOPIE: This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

so which type did you have recently???

close open close

no matter how hard i try to stay awake, i just can't..

my eyes have a mind of their own and they want to close... they won't listen to my brain anymore. it is a very big effort to keep them open even for a minute.

well, who can blame them when they've been awake since 6 am.

help is badly badly badly needed badly badly.....


manager-san is getting irritated of me asking lots of questions. hello manager-san, i am paid to do this. wahihihi

soliloquy at solitude

the title is kinda cute. pretty catchy, but it all stops from there. 

for the past 2 weeks, i have been alone in my work place. my seatmate left me and seems like she won't be back at all. why would she be back when all she can ever find is the lowly me, all gloomy and negative... it would have been better if we had other seatmates but nopes, we were placed at a corner with nothing but printers and scanners to listen to everyday. on times where i am bored, i usually browse up sites but this is hard to do in this forsaken place; seniors are lurking near. what a perfect place to shut me up.

at first it was really hard. it would have been better if i were busy with something, but to my surprise i had nothing to do. alone with nothing to do for 8 hours; imagine how bored i am. 

• i joined facebook and added friends to keep me busy. but it was not that long, i ran out of friends. i should start being more sociable.
  
• i started playing games in facebook and concentrated on it. to the people out there who might be amazed and wondered why i leveled up so fast, stop wondering already. it is but a mere result of boredom.
  
• i read all the blogs i can find and commented on almost all of them. i even followed up on comments. the blog world is just crazy and entertaining.
  
• i chewed gum. this kept my mouth busy. excess saliva must be swallowed and is not allowed to pool the keyboard.
• and then i started to explore the workarea, finding people whom i can talk and chat with... how pitiful could i have looked. but it was better than drying up due to boredom... or drowning from your own saliva...
  

i have managed to find a lunch mate and it is quite enjoyable. a lunch without company is just too gloomy (word used twice. this is alarming). i also talked with the temporary friend on the previous posts. i just can't help but talk to him since he sits halfway between me and my lunchmate. and yeah, i don't want to burn bridges. silly me, i could have just smiled back at his stares and walked away. now, the sturdy wooden bridge between us has downgraded to a long, narrow, dangerous swinging hanging bridge with its decaying wooden planks. i would dare not cross over that damn bridge. he might. here is a song dedicated to him. (i also got the time to find song verses. wahihihi.)

Does it hurt to know I'll never be there

Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere

It was you, who chose to end it like you did

I was the last to know

You knew exactly what you were doin'

Don't say, you simply lost your way

They may believe you but I never will

Never again

Never again will I hear you

Never again will I miss you

Never again will I fall to you

Never

i may act stupid ok but i am intelligent.

i was shocked to find out today that his whole team moved to another floor. it made me a little sad. but it also proves that maybe i shouldn't cross that bridge. 

surprisingly though, as i swayed away from him his colleague got closer to me. he came to my seat just to talk. this i appreciated very much and this is what i was longing the temporary friend would do before. i truly appreciate simple acts like this. 

now why did i make this post???? 

because i am bored.

and why was i bored???? 

because the facebook game i was playing is under maintenance. 

また今度!!!

(57) clueless... part 2

its been awhile since my head drifted off somewhere... and surprisingly, i allowed it to drift off. last week was a complete mess, so many deadlines to meet and people to beat.... but now is a completely different story... earlier, i thought of having a good day... i mailed people expecting some replies but no... nothing came... absolutely no replies... it is very disappointing to have no progress at all... oops, you might think that this is the perfect life for you; a life with nothing to do at all is what everyone wishes.... i thought so too, but nah... a life with nothing to do is like a traffic light in a farming village. might as well stop it and save electricity than keep it up and serve no purpose. with the feeling i have now, i would rather be in a coffin buried deep down the earth.. it is that boring today... I'm totally alone with no one else to talk to, or with no energy at all to open my jaw and speak up...

my seatmate is not here, she is dead today... imagine how you would feel after attending a birthday party miles away from home... she was dead even before she left... i couldn't imagine it to be worse.. i didn't know that a dead man could still die... how dead can a dead man be, this was what was running through my head hearing her cough all night... double dead meat...

my other seatmate, well it's always hard to catch him during the day... he was here for a while and we joked but i just couldn't find the energy to keep up with it... it's not that we don't talk often, i do enjoy our conversations, but it's just that he has so many others to talk to as well... and they talk in Japanese, of all the languages why talk in something i'm not fluent in... naturally, the conversation dwindled to a natural death...

now with no one to talk to but myself, sleep is the worst enemy... i've tried reading my book, memoirs of a geisha, and i'm on the near-end chapters but this only fueled sleep... the more i kept on, the more heavy my lids became... don't get me wrong, the book was fun... but the last few chapters were gloomy and all... my brain must have told my lids to close and gain stars than keep on imagining a war full of dead people all over...

now my brain is bringing me back to the sober days, when words spoken went freely without barrier... i can still remember how i have heard conversations on men with their exploits with women... i can still hear the descriptions used on the ways of carnal desires... and i was only disgusted.. and then i remembered the reasons women use for getting what they wanted... i can clearly picture the scenes when they reasoned out that women deserves only the best... and with this, i too felt disgusted... men should keep their adventures to themselves, it is not an award to be bragged... women should find more clever reasons to be cherished-- being a 'woman' is just an overused cliche (double impact for that...). and here i am being cynical about others but never learning. I'm just a self righteous prick... i see the wrongs but i too have mistakes to take focus on... maybe i should work on them more... but today is just not that day...

now the day's end is near and people will be slowly going out... still i'm doing nothing... yes there were occasional calls and i am happy to have them but my brain is still far-way, never been back from the sailing adventure it took earlier... this post has reached this length but still i don't know if i've written much or to continue on... this paragraph surely sounds like a closing statement... but i'm not even sure how to close something i have never opened...

now they're telling jokes of me, but i'm just too tired and sleepy to argue...

just let them be for now...

53-- onsite

I'm tired... people back home expects that there is less work here... they often thought of how lucky we are...

yes, we are lucky. i am blessed in fact. who would have expected that one day i was just a brat in Cebu and the next, I'm a brat in japan.... nothing much changed, i am still a brat. but yeah, i am a traveling brat... but guess what, this traveling brat is full of burdens.... colleagues at home expect less work??????  less work their a$$e$... facing clients is a hard job OK... we are the front liners if this were a war.... we are the first ones who die.... so don't they ever dare say that again... there black a$$e$ receive the last blow...

and you know what, here is another thing. i cannot get a leave in here.... i have never taken a leave for the past 7 months... amazing!!!!!!!!!! if i were back home, a slight pain would be a major cause for a leave... if it were as easy as before..... but no its not.... who gets to face the clients when i come back the next day???? it is still me... who gets all the trouble, me.... so forget about vacations..... it is just not worth it.

and now i am doing nothing for the 2nd time this week... and today is a Friday... i was expecting lots of work and even a bug report today, but yes, none came.... blessed.... i got the time to create this blog... but then again, I've got to be careful... if people find out that i did nothing, they might give me some work... got to pretend doing something....

end this now before i continue on...

47---- the new office

yup you read it right; im on a different office now which is far away from home... im still on the same company but on a different office... with a twist of fate, i was transferred south... gosh... i live up north and im working south... it would have been better if south office was located somewhere where civilization is sprouting... over here, there is no food... there is no canteen nor a bakery nor a cafe to eat to.... no bank nor atm to withdraw money from... there is no vending machine... there is no easy access to transportation...


i just had a deja vu...


its 15 minutes to 5 and still im lazy...

clueless.... (46)

as the title suggests, i'm so clueless today... i don't know what to
do... i don't even know if i should be doing something... all my
teammates are busy with our project, but i am not... it's as if i have
no deadline to meet... i don't even know when our deadline is. it's as
if i was left behind, like i blended well with the surrounding to the
point that they can't see me any longer... as the days pass, i feel
like I'm taken for granted... i know i should not be feeling this way
but i am... i know that i should be happy to be given a breather but i
am not... it would have been better if i have a new movie in my pc but
i don't. i don't want to surf the internet. i need a human being to
talk with. i need to open my mouth and communicate. but in this
stressful environment, no one likes to talk... i want to talk guys...
talk nonsense with me... i want to exercise my mouth... oh God help...
i need to be busy doing something... i don't want to die of boredom.
this silence is killing me.


(same as the one i posted in multiply.... this only shows how bored i am... i can't even make another one for friendster....)





(note 2: change of color for a comments sake... wahihihihi)

四十三.... the pissed, bored life

it all started with a summer outing which was very enjoyable.
たのしい　夏休み　が　すべて　の　はじまった。

everything was fine and relaxing and all. clean, fresh, white. laughter, joy, gladness. and now that im back in the city, the worst just happened.

i took the chance to be away from work last monday, 21st of may. i asked for a sick leave (muscle cramps and stomach ache which i really felt though if i didnt, i would have given another excuse). i was planning to surf the web the whole day.

i turned on my pc and was happy to be back online after 2 days of zero internet life. i was very pleased browsing at sites i love. i was just checking something when my pc rebooted. i thought it was ok because it already happened in the past. and then i was online again... not until it rebooted once more. then rebooted, and rebooted, and on and off and on and off.

i contacted a computer shop and brought my cpu there. paid for the taxi and went in. everything seems ok there. nothing is wrong. my pc started well. i waited for at least an hour and no rebooting happened. they used all the memory of my pc to make sure if it really wont happen but it didnt. so they cleaned my cpu and advised to reinstall and reformat my cpu. so i bought and external hard disk and paid for their service. went home and paid for a cab.

i plugged it in immediately when i got back and thought that it wont happen again. but i was wrong, it rebooted after a few minutes. now im pissed, i brought my cpu to a friends' house and plugged it there. and to my surprise, it worked well for straight 2 hours... i transferred important files to my mobile hd with hassle. now im puzzled. what do these places have that i dont?

i went back home and reinstalled my operating system(a pirated windows xp professional). i got no problem while doing it. i thought it would reboot in a short while in the middle of the installation but it didnt. i was now glad and hoping that maybe the problem will now be solved. i turned it back on and yoohoo it rebooted once more. f@%k...

i went back to work the next day although i felt drained. at work, all i can think was my pc. i asked my collegues and friends about this and their guess was as good as mine. they suggested that i should buy an avr.one ven suggested that the problem lies with the house and to fix the prob, we should transfer to a new house. of course i cant do the latter so i tried the first. i paid for the avr and bought it home. wow!!!! it didnt help either.

yesterday at the office, i told everyone of the good news--my life sucked. now another advised thats maybe its with the extension cord. and the fool i am, i bought one immediately. we now have a collection of extension cords at home.

now i can say that maybe its with the electricity. yes, its with the house. i have no idea why or how but i can say its with the house. im now advised to buy a ups but im skeptical on this. i should first know if this is really the solution. i just cant waste money now or ill be broke. the next pay day is still far away. im thinking of calling the computer shop again and ask for their advise, or even call the power company on their idea on this.

to be continued...
うつつ。。。

boredom...

is it my fault to be bored?


is it my fault that i have nothing to do?


i do find ways to be helpful but i can't always do those things?


i just can't get rid of what college taught me-- "the easiest way to get an employee to resign is to give him no job, assign him no task... eventually he will get stressed thinking about it and then decide to leave the company later on"... is this what is being applied to me? i hope that this is not the case with me... because if it is, its already getting into my nerves... i am now thinking of ways to get myself useful... they will eventually succeed on pushing me out if its their main purpose... its not that i have no project, i do have one, but the problem is that this project won't start... my teammates, too have no particular task... don't tell me we are all planned to be thrown out... that's just unfair..


i really hope this is not a plan nor a trick...

6th na diay ni?

hala no idea gyud ko na 6th na diay ni... wala gyud ni sa akong mga plano sa kinabuhi na magpost ug blog... who would have thought na magpadayon diay ning akong ginabuhat karon...




grabe kaayo ang life kay daghan na kaayo ko ug kaila... wa gyud ko nagexpect na ingon ani diay ko ka.friendly. wahihihihihihihihi.... sus. ambot lang unsay gibuhat ni LORD na daghan man gyud ko ug friends oi... im so thankful...




anyway, i really have nothing to say now. i just came to the office early(before working hours) and found myself with nothing to do(as if i have something to do even during office hours), so made a blog. i was having a great time yesterday, a bad time last night and so i dont know what's coming up today. the day was great except that my phone ran out of battery and im already at the office with no charger with me. well my phone has no use today... what a turn of fate...




ps. basta wala kay lingaw, bisag unsa ra man gyud ang imong ma post sa blog. wala baya ni planohay ang akong blog. what goes through my head at the moment gets written on the page. gets? problema ba na nako na dili siya interesting... i just need a place where i can air everything thats in my head... and not everything that's in my head are interesting to others..




watashi no shumi wa sekai wo ryokoushimasu.

trial...

1, 2, 3... mic test?!



well it's my first time to write a blog though I'm not sure what I'm about to write... i just wanna try this out. I've known people doing this and i don't know what's in it. I'm just doing this now cause I'm very very bored... i have nothing to do.

yes, I'm working in a company but i just don't know what the future has in stored for me... I'm happy with the way things are working not until recently. I'm stuck... after a big, hectic project, I'm as free as ever... Ive got nothing to do. i was assigned in a newly proposed project but it never came. i learned everything i could with that and was excited. though i admit, I'm also a bit scared. but nonetheless, it's a new project. but then i was transferred to another one which never started. i prepared but same thing happened... now I'm part of another one but I'm not even sure what its about. i don't even know the language used... and I'm really bored because I've nothing to do for a week now. i don't even know what to write in my personal evaluation form...




is this goodbye for me here? hope not... but if it is, well they're missing a lot. i was not even able to do what i love to do most and they're throwing me out already...




maybe i'll apply for a job in another field. just maybe...




gudbye...