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Friday, February 27, 2009

Which bloodtype are you?

i have received the below mail long ago but have reread it recently. it is quite interesting though how things below match my personality, not all but most. waaaah... i know that it is pointless to classify people based on blood types but it is surely a good laugh. personality still depends on every individual.

but based on the below, yeah i am a certified A.

no wonder... wahihihi...

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Does Your Blood Type Reveal Your Personality?

According to a Japanese institute that does research on blood types, there are certain personality traits that seem to match up with certain blood types. How do you rate?

TYPE OYou want to be a leader, and when you see something you want, you keep striving until you achieve your goal. You are a trend-setter, loyal, passionate, and self-confident. Your weaknesses include vanity and jealously and a tendency to be too competitive.
TYPE AYou like harmony, peace and organization. You work well with others, and are sensitive, patient and affectionate. Among your weaknesses are stubbornness and an inability to relax.
TYPE BYou're a rugged individualist, who's straightforward and likes to do things your own way. Creative and flexible, you adapt easily to any situation. But your insistence on being independent can sometimes go too far and become a weakness.
TYPE ABCool and controlled, you're generally well liked and always put people at ease. You're a natural entertainer who's tactful and fair. But you're standoffish, blunt, and have difficulty making decisions.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


how far will you go for beauty???

i have just read a blog on a personal transformation story. he emphasized that we has about 60kg at 12... yes that may be huge but he didn't look that way on the pics he posted. he said that he was not aware of any fashion except that of his mom, mom practically dressed him. he was a total loser, he said. then gradually, he changed bit by bit and reached 40kg, got contact lenses, and learned fashion and clothed himself.

now looking back, i was always the chubby type. i practically have no neck on my elementary days. it is very hard to run a half length of a soccer field in high school. but i was never bullied, i got off them since i was a brainy. no one dared to bully because i have the brains. 

i still had the bulging belly when i entered college. there was even a time that i was classified as class 1 obese. then a friend saw me one day and commented on how big i was. i got embarrassed. i started to diet after that incident. that was the focal point. 

now i weigh 70kg. i cannot go any less. i have tried being 65kg but my face didn't go with it. i have a big head literally. a big head on a small body would look like a matchstick. so i don't care much on my weight, as long as my bmi says i'm normal then i'm ok with it. i don't feel like a loser even if i weigh more.

the only complex i have though is my face. i had acne breakout during puberty but it cleared during college. then suddenly just last year, they all came back. i'm thankful that now, there are no new ones but i am suffering from the dark marks left. it is really really hard to get rid of them. and i really get affected when people point out my face. i try to hide the feeling of course but deep inside, i am hurting like hell. why of all things should you point out my face. as if i chose it to be that way. and look, i am finding ways to get rid of these marks ok so just shut up in there. waaaaah... my head screams when i get those talks and it is hard to maintain your cool. 

so can anyone of you in there recommend something good and fast to get rid of these red marks.

it is hard to take photos when you don't have the confidence so i have never posted new pictures of me.. god.


Saturday, February 21, 2009

turn of events

very very very surprised at the twist of fate. 

all of us just arrived home from a farewell party. i drunk one mug of beer just for the heck. i need to go to work early next day to check on things. suddenly, the skype call tone sounded... what the... who could this be???

i opened skype and it was him, the friend i have been talking about lately in the previous entries. never did i expect something like this to happen.

he sounded so familiar yet all my emotions are weird at this moment. it is hard to react to things. i asked why he called, he said because i told him that we never chatted. (refer to the previous post). then he told me that he was a little upset with what i told him before valentines. that is a good sign i guess. he told me that his feelings for me is still the same. he is upset because he never expected that i felt that way. he was just busy and all but there was no change, it was just a misunderstanding. so i told him, i too was upset and those words were a result of it. he reassured that nothing has changed. this is enough for me. knowing that someone is also thinking of me is enough. 

so let us see how it goes when we meet up next time. 

ps: his gf came some time later and they talked in japanese. they sound good together and i envy the chocolates they ate. yum yum...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

the valentine affair

when housemates celebrate their birthday, the first thing that comes to mind is vodka. it has somehow bacame a tradition, vodka to celebrate the birthday. does that even make sense? wahihihi...

i can handle alcohol well. i don't get irrational that easily, a surprising realization eventhough i have only learned alcohol drinking when i came here in japan last december of 2007. who would have thought that i actually have high tolerance to drinks. but this night was different.

i ate lots prior to the birthday-vodka-party because of the following reasons.
  • i was all happy and hopeful making the previous post so i unconsciously munched all turned out that i shouldn't have had been happy. he only said "come to me anytime you want" but never mentioned that he will be there at those times. i did came but he was nowhere to be found. how unfortunate. refer to the previous blog for more of that.
  • and it was valentines day where women give chocolates to men. i received a bunch from my female housemates. if i didn't ask for them i wouldn't know if they will ever give me one. wahihih... i am a chocolate addict and i will never back down with chocolates. ate them all!!!
we were 5 (2 ladies included) drinking 2 bottles. the taste was pretty weird. i can only taste the sweet chocolates. vodka has never tasted so much sweeter.

we told jokes and i laughed pretty hard. but i just can't remember most of them.

the night before was all blurry.

that was my valentines experience.

i really hope i can spend it next time with someone.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

the confession

finally, i told the "temporary friend" about the things i felt. i'm glad i did that. as a person, i always want to know the reason behind certain actions so as much as possible i also practice the same. i don't want people to be left clueless. and of course, i was still holding on to that single thread of hope.

so there i was, prepared a draft of what to say and pasted it on skype. racing heart and shortened breathing is all i have left. i immediately closed everything: afraid of what his reply might be. but i was excited at the same time. 

the inevitable came, the reply.... he assured that it was not the case - another way of saying that i was just being paranoid. but i was not contented... i have felt the change and told him about it. "you can come to me anytime you want" he said... great to hear but i don't want that. this was what i was doing all along and was my primary issue; it failed to give me satisfaction. i want to be needed too. i want to be longed for. i think that was too much to ask.

that was my pre valentine gift.

i want to be pursued, i'm tired of pursuing...

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