touch. feel. immerse. discovering more of the world to discover true self, this is the adventure of an innocent into the great unknown

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

the stupid reason of the stubborn man (trenta y quatro)

i now know the reason of the commotion yesterday. the friends of the stubborn man told my friend. and i was so shocked with the shallowness.

the stubborn attacker thought that i was teasing him. he heard me say "tito tita tito tita" which i never did. i was murmuring "koibito koibito" the whole time in that class. koibito is a Japanese word for lover. he heard me wrongly. the "lover" became the cause of the commotion.

i told him by message about this. he was too stubborn to admit his mistake. he has too much pride to even ask for forgiveness. he even gave me a threat instead that i should do it again if i want to get hurt. well, if ever i get hurt, all my close friends already know the guy to jail. if ever i get hurt, expect this to reach higher authorities.

if he was logical, he should have analyzed that teasing him is such a waste of time for me. why would a mere acquaintance tease him? be logical dude. and please admit mistakes next time. doing such would definitely gain you more honor.

PS: tomorrow, we will meet again in the same class. hope nothing happens.

Monday, January 22, 2007

encounter with the unexpected (trenta y tres)

its started with a training. i was being myself because i was with friends. i was having conversations with friends, people who i feel comfortable with. i was the usual me who smiles and laughs and joke around. everything went well especially when i knew that snacks was to be in mcdo.

when i went out, this mister tall guy approached and bumped me. i thought it was not intentional at first. but he kept on pushing me then he talked something to me. i now started wondering what it was i did. i have no clue as to what he was saying. we was furious ready to have a brawl. i was looking up at his face trying to figure out what he was saying and what i got was something like: "what do you want?", "you started it.", "we don't know each other so why bother me.". he said this over and over while i was asking him what it was i did. but he would not listen. i was left clueless walking inside the room.

i have never encountered such a situation before. wait.. i did encounter something like it but at least it was with a friend. it was a first with someone i only knew by face and by name, but have no clue as to what his personality is. and so now i am thinking as to what it could have been.

did i say something which offended him? and why would i do that in the first place if i barely knew the guy? did i hurt his pride one way or another? as much as i can remember, i was watching a movie late in the afternoon, went to mcdo with a friend at 5:45, returned to the office and entered the room, waited and attended class in there. of course he was there as well but we never talked. i was talking with others. i don't even know if he was chatting as well. i was smiling and happy during the class. i never expected this to happen.

I'm just thankful that i have friends who comforted me. i guess this is a sign that we really cant please everybody. i guess this is a sign that i should be more attentive to the people around me. i think its a sign for me to stand up and defend myself for once. somethings just don't go as expected so we better prepare for them.

i just hate the feeling that i am picked at and i don't even know what my fault is.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

the friends... (trenta y dos)

while the asean summit was scheduled and road blockages were here and there, we said "hey, why don't we get together?". wow! what a shock... nice timing...

the fateful day, Saturday the 13th--just a day after the summit opening. the fateful time, 6:30--just on time with the road blockages. the fateful place, AA banilad-- convenient for a friend and i but not to 5 others.

i fetched my friend Claudine and headed to the venue together on taxi. we arrived on time and to our surprise no one was there. after growing roots on our seats we were informed that they are still in Ayala with nowhere else to go. traffic was jammed. a change of venue was finally decided (AA USP).

Claudine and i left the area and headed for foodland or country mall and ride taxi from there. to our surprise again, traffic was jammed there too. we waited for an unoccupied cab and nothing came. cabs have vacant signs on but were occupied. wow. how would we know which to stop. whew...

we walked to country mall with hopes of finding more cabs there. shocks, we only found more passengers waiting for cabs. to our desperation, we even planned to hitch a ride to USP. we waited for some more. walked some more. waited again. changed waiting area. still nothing. a suggestion came. why don't we ride motorcycles for hire (habal-habal)? tonk...

the dilemma was between staying there waiting for an empty cab, or ride a motorcycle on which we only knew the destination but with no idea as to which roads it will take. the latter won. and so we did; convinced that it was the only way to move away from this damned place.

the air was cold, freezing. wind was at my face. my wet hair dried, and flew all over. my phone rang. oh OH... who's on the other line can surely wait. wahihihihi. the ride of our lives (exaggerated) took minutes and 40 bucks. one good thing happened with it though, my hair became perfectly done, wind blown. wahihihihi....

we ate as if there's no tomorrow, talked of past and present experiences, drank a little, stayed for a long time there, rebuilt friendships, made bonds stronger. and the rest is history.

to be continued...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

trenta i uno =)

hoy kamo ha, basin nagtuo sad mo na wala na gyud ko ganahi sa akong life ha.
hey you out there, im not bored with my life.

it does not mean that what i wrote is always what i feel. but we all know that depressions do come. it is inevitable. everybody experiences it...

i may write these things today, but it doesn't mean it is always like that... these things i write are just those emotions that go overboard. these things i write are just those that are beyond the usual feelings i feel. wahihihihihihihi....

it feels good to write again. wahihihihihihihi....

(mura man hinuon ni ug disclaimer...)
happy year ahead...

Thursday, January 4, 2007

resolutions (trenta...)

i got the time to look at the photos of my friends back in college. i found through friendster where they are at currently, what they are doing and etc. as i  browsed through them, there is this certain feeling that came over me. it was like jealousy but in a deeper sense. i don't know but i really felt lonely while looking at their photos, of the joys on their faces. they are now in manila training for some computer company. the photos were of them having fun in this amusement park. it really was fun. they were toured around the city.

and then i thought of me. what do i have to boast? i don't even know my personality anymore. i don't even know what i aspire, don't know what i really want in life. i don't know whether this job i currently have will benefit me in the latter years or months. i thought of doing things i don't even know i can do. i thought of having things i don't even know i can have. i thought of being friends with many people but i just don't know how.

i am a homebody who enjoys simple conversations rather than having night outs. i am a person trapped in the so many norms established by society. i just want to escape from all of them but I'm scared. i have so many qualms in life i don't even know where to start if i tell all of them. I've got so many burdens that i carry. i don't really know how to get rid of them. i just wonder because i feel like this always when i have nothing to do or have something to do but don't know how to do it. all the realities in my life start to flood out. i guess i want to do more, want to achieve more, want to feel life more, want to breathe more. I'm an insatiable being always thirsty for more.

and as i reevaluate my life, i always think positive. i know i can do them all. i know that someday i will be free-- free from all these burdens. i know that someday, i will be able to fly to some other place. i definitely want to travel and i will do it someday. i want to explore and i know i can. i will someday be able to live life to its fullest and i still have so many years to do them all. i want to grow in knowledge and in experience. i want to have no worries, nothing to bother me. i will try to be happy in the life that i will choose to live and i hope people will be as well.

and if  i cant do them all at least i will try them all. as my motto says:

"if you cant be the sun, be a star"

sure that is something i can be proud of...

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