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Friday, May 4, 2012

memories of yesterdays


I just saw "the vow" and wow, it struck me in a way. How misserable could life be if suddenly someone forgets about you? How painful could it get if the one you love don't even recognize you anymore? and somehow, this felt not so foreign to me at all. In a way, i have experienced the same. It is not as life changing as car crashes nor amnesia. But still i can relate to some extent.

All of a sudden everything changed. It got bland. It's as if the past got totally erased from his mind. we were so close back then and then suddenly, bam!, goodbye. and it hurts so badly seeing him suddenly change. it pains me that he no longer talks nonsense to me. i don't know what triggered it. i don't know what the catalyst of the change was. but i do know the pain after. and the worst part was that he was totally healthy; no head injuries, no amnesia. totally healthy and even getting fatter each day.

we were not in a relationship. so how much more painful could it be in "the vow"'s case? i just can't imagine and i don't want to have the same fate. but then in the movie, the character tried and succeeded. and became happy again for regaining their past happiness. but for my case, err.... yeah i tried. and we talked about it. he reassured that nothing changed. but yet... deep in me i knew that it was not the same. from then i lost faith... the joy was good while it lasted... it will serve nothing but a memory and a lesson well learned. but don't get me wrong, i am happy now.

this really sucked. for bringing back those memories. for making me write about him again, "the vow" must really be effective. "the vow" was a painful journey but yet it ended happily. who doesn't want a movie to end on a good note? everyone wishes for a happy ending, don't we?

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