28th... (yesterday's drama...)

a friend received an email inviting her to try their company... it was a very tempting and irresistible offer... i don't know what talks we've made but it came to a point where we were talking about employment experiences--job offers, interviews, and the like. she said that maybe it was really her destiny to be where she is working for if not, she should have been accepted in other companies with bigger pay. i was amazed that we were in fact trying out the same companies. we shared interview experiences and laughed about them. then i got depressed...


i realized that one of my biggest downfall in this computer related profession was my not being a computer related course graduate... its partially my fault. i know that its  kinda weird to hear a math graduate in an IT field. but i want to push my limits. i just find the world of software development challenging and i always seek challenge. it really bothers me that a part of the points used against me in one of my interviews was this fact... no matter how hard i say that i can be easily trained, that i easily learn, the damage is done.


a well... and this is also one of the reasons why i cant easily transfer to other companies. the stigma is there. i know my potentials but others cant see raw talent (char...) with just one look of the eye. i always feel that i need to work harder because of this. i feel that i have to make extra effort because of this. this is really an insecurity that i cant deny. no one judged me in my present work. I'm glad about that. but to transfer and experience the whole process of application again is very stressful... i get to be judged again on what course i have taken... i just wish to have a long experience and maybe thats the time that i can get away with my downfall...


its really depressing to be judged on what you have and not on what you can offer... its definitely their loss and not mine....