resolutions (trenta...)

i got the time to look at the photos of my friends back in college. i found through friendster where they are at currently, what they are doing and etc. as i  browsed through them, there is this certain feeling that came over me. it was like jealousy but in a deeper sense. i don't know but i really felt lonely while looking at their photos, of the joys on their faces. they are now in manila training for some computer company. the photos were of them having fun in this amusement park. it really was fun. they were toured around the city.


and then i thought of me. what do i have to boast? i don't even know my personality anymore. i don't even know what i aspire, don't know what i really want in life. i don't know whether this job i currently have will benefit me in the latter years or months. i thought of doing things i don't even know i can do. i thought of having things i don't even know i can have. i thought of being friends with many people but i just don't know how.


i am a homebody who enjoys simple conversations rather than having night outs. i am a person trapped in the so many norms established by society. i just want to escape from all of them but I'm scared. i have so many qualms in life i don't even know where to start if i tell all of them. I've got so many burdens that i carry. i don't really know how to get rid of them. i just wonder because i feel like this always when i have nothing to do or have something to do but don't know how to do it. all the realities in my life start to flood out. i guess i want to do more, want to achieve more, want to feel life more, want to breathe more. I'm an insatiable being always thirsty for more.


and as i reevaluate my life, i always think positive. i know i can do them all. i know that someday i will be free-- free from all these burdens. i know that someday, i will be able to fly to some other place. i definitely want to travel and i will do it someday. i want to explore and i know i can. i will someday be able to live life to its fullest and i still have so many years to do them all. i want to grow in knowledge and in experience. i want to have no worries, nothing to bother me. i will try to be happy in the life that i will choose to live and i hope people will be as well.


and if  i cant do them all at least i will try them all. as my motto says:

"if you cant be the sun, be a star"




sure that is something i can be proud of...