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Tuesday, February 24, 2009


how far will you go for beauty???

i have just read a blog on a personal transformation story. he emphasized that we has about 60kg at 12... yes that may be huge but he didn't look that way on the pics he posted. he said that he was not aware of any fashion except that of his mom, mom practically dressed him. he was a total loser, he said. then gradually, he changed bit by bit and reached 40kg, got contact lenses, and learned fashion and clothed himself.

now looking back, i was always the chubby type. i practically have no neck on my elementary days. it is very hard to run a half length of a soccer field in high school. but i was never bullied, i got off them since i was a brainy. no one dared to bully because i have the brains. 

i still had the bulging belly when i entered college. there was even a time that i was classified as class 1 obese. then a friend saw me one day and commented on how big i was. i got embarrassed. i started to diet after that incident. that was the focal point. 

now i weigh 70kg. i cannot go any less. i have tried being 65kg but my face didn't go with it. i have a big head literally. a big head on a small body would look like a matchstick. so i don't care much on my weight, as long as my bmi says i'm normal then i'm ok with it. i don't feel like a loser even if i weigh more.

the only complex i have though is my face. i had acne breakout during puberty but it cleared during college. then suddenly just last year, they all came back. i'm thankful that now, there are no new ones but i am suffering from the dark marks left. it is really really hard to get rid of them. and i really get affected when people point out my face. i try to hide the feeling of course but deep inside, i am hurting like hell. why of all things should you point out my face. as if i chose it to be that way. and look, i am finding ways to get rid of these marks ok so just shut up in there. waaaaah... my head screams when i get those talks and it is hard to maintain your cool. 

so can anyone of you in there recommend something good and fast to get rid of these red marks.

it is hard to take photos when you don't have the confidence so i have never posted new pictures of me.. god.



  1. Well..
    I had some marks too but on my back.

    You can get rid of theme with SUUUUN =D ( ok that's no really fast but it works !! )
    i don't know how to explain this in english, but it ' speeds' the apoptose of the cells, new skin is created and then ... you won't have marks anymore xD.
    it works every summer for my back ... so i hope it will be the same for your face ;) and u don't mind to be tanned.

  2. sun???? taiyou???? but the doctor said keep away from the sun.... :(

  3. he could have said that if he gave you medecine for acne, and well, that's right, you have to keep yourself away from the sun because it burns the skin ( with this medecine)

    here, in france, doctors give roacutane, but there are a lot of 2nd effects ( acné breakout so u'll have to apply some ceam(?), nose bleedings, dry lips, and u have to avoid the sun ! ) ... :/ but it works, it clears the skin in 3 months forever ...
    and there is also rubozinc.
    Me, i can't stand to follow a prescritpion for months so, i wait the summer to tan my back ^^ without any medecine.
    I also think that we don't have the same kinde of skin, i'm mediteranean.

    Hope i've been of any help.

    Good luck, i understand what you're living.
    Here there're not really like that, i mean that everyone have been throught those acne breakout and have marks( girls hide them with make up base ;) ) so we won't point out faces like that ... or just the mean one's who have nothing else better to do ! Everyone have complexes, that's so heartless to point them everytime !

    Have a nice day.

  4. wow... thanks so much... your reply could make a whole new blog in itself. wahihihi... i got a lot from there.

  5. its actually well appreciated so no sorries in there... wahihihi


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