12 TYPES OF GAY

got this message recently from my mail and i just have to share it to you guys. wahahahha. ganyan pala ka dami? sobrang itemized nito siguro. of course, credit goes to whoever wrote this, i just shared it remember? disclaimer ko na din yan, baka kasi may sumugod at maghamon ng away. hate ko pa naman ang confrontations. bwahahaha. i also would have liked to add pictures but decided not to. baka ma ban pa ang site. wahahahha. anyway, tell me which number are you? enjoy!

12 TYPES OF GAY

1. CLOSET GAY - the basic, mga baklang a...yaw umamin ng kanilang kabaklaan. Sila ay madalas na pigil at laging pinag-iisipan ang kanilang kilos. Madalas pag nasa maraming tao, kilos lalaki sila pero pag dilim, dun lumalabas ang totoong kulay.

Bukambibig: "Huwag kang maingay, hindi alam ng tatay ko na bakla ako!"

2. SISTER L - baklang lantaran sa kanilang mga kabaklaan. Sila yung mga nagdadamit ng pambabae, nagme-make-up, at yung iba, nagpapa-sex change.

Bukambibig: "Punta tayo sa katabing bar, maraming mga lalaking gwapo dun!"

3. MACHO-CHOPA - baklang hindi mo aakalain dahil mas guwapo at macho pa sa tunay na lalaki. Ito yung mga baklang maskulado, nagdyi-gym madalas upang magpalaki ng katawan. Pero pag kumilos si macho-chopa e halata mo ring charingdahil mahilig magpa-cute sa mga guwapong trainor sa gym.

Bukambibig: "Hi, can I know your number?"

4. MALDITA - baklang nakakaimbiyerna, masyadong nagmamaganda kahit na mukhang pwet ng baso ang mukha. Madalas mataray, parang laging nireregla. Masyado ring insecure ang maldita sa mga magagandang babae.

Bukambibig: "Che! Lumayas ka sa harapan ko. Sinisira mo araw ko! Bruha ka!"

5. SPICE GAY - baklang elite, socialite, laging nasa mall, starbucks, at madalas gumimik sa Malate. Kadalasan maiingay ang mga spice gays. Madalas binubuo sila ng 3-5 sa isang grupo. Madalas itong naka-wheels at mga branded ang sinusuot na damit. Madalas rin silang may shades na suot-suot. Sa pananamit naman, mahahalata mo rin na bakla sila dahil mas kikay pa sila kaysa sa mga babae. Pero hindi sila nagdadamit ng obvious na pambabaeng damit. To add, medyo mayabang rin ang mga spice gays.

Bukambibig: "You know, I bought this bag from Italy. It’s Gucci and it is very expensive."

6. SANTA CLARA - baklang may magandang determinasyon. Siya yung relihiyoso. Madalas siyang nagiging katekista, minsan pumapasok sa seminaryo upang maging pari. Hindi gaanong lumalabas ng bahay dahil parating nagdarasal upang layuan siya ng tukso. Madalas siyang active sa charity works at novenas. Kaunti lamang ang mga Santa Clara pero sila ang mga baklang huwaran.

Bukambibig: "Diyos ko, tulungan mo po akong lumayo sa kahit anumang tukso. Amen."

7. BUD-WISER - hindi ito pangalan ng alak o beer, another type ito ng gays. Ito yung baklang hindi madaling maloko ng mga lalaki kahit guwapo pa siya. Masyadong masinop sa pera at pessimistic with regards to men. Kadalasan siya yung nagtatagumpay sa buhay. Minsan mas pipiliin pa niyang mag-asawa ng girl kahit na diring-diri siya kaysa kuwartahan ng lalaki. Kaya siya nag-aasawa ng girl dahil para hindi siya makuwartahan nito.

Bukambibig: "Manloloko silang lahat!"

8. SANTA CLAUS-A - opposite ng BUD-WISER, ito yung baklang bigay-kaya - sa lalaki niya o sa mga kaibigan, kapamilya o kamag-anak niya. Madalas walang pera ang mga Santa Clausa. Sila ang mga baklang madaling maloko. Magastos rin ang mga ganitong type ng gays.

Bukambibig: "Anong gusto mo? Ibibigay ko ang lahat kahit wala na akong pera."

9. DETECTIVE CHUVA - baklitang daig pa ang isang detective kung subaybayan niya ang kanyang "special someone". Ika nga, stalker. Lahat ng tungkol sa kanyang crush e alam niya. Ni ultimo kung kailang ang birthday, kung ano ang favorite food, favorite movie, favorite hung-out, favorite blah-blah. Madalas siyang panakaw kung tumingin. Pasulyap-sulyap lang kuno pero pinagnanasaan na pala niya.

Bukambibig: "Mapapasaakin ka rin balang araw…"

10. HANDSOMMA (Pronounciation: hand-sa-ma) - gay na biniyayaan ng mukha. Heto yung mga tipong habulin ng babae. Minsan ang mga Handsomma ay closet gay, pilit na itinatago ang tunay na pagkatao. Sa panlabas, chickboy si Handsomma pero deep inside, lalaki ang gusto. Sayang ang kaguwapuhan ng mga ito at tiyak na ang laking panghihinayang ng mga babae.

Bukambibig: "Yuck, hindi tayo talo noh!"

11. ECLATUGZ - gay na mahilig tumagay. In short lassenggera este lassengero. Mahilig mag-aya ng inuman si Eclatugz lalo na kung ang aayain niya eh yung crush niya. Kunwari aayain ng Eclatugz ang kanyang crush sa isang inuman. Tapos pag nalasing na ang kawawang guy, patay siya! Tiyak pagpipistahan na siya ni Eclatugz.

Bukambibig: "Pare, inuman tayo! Minsan lang toh noh!"

12. MANIAC - uri ng gay na may maling determinasyon. Ito yung mga maniacs o mapang-nasa sa kapwa lalaki. Siya yung tipo ng gay na gagawin ang lahat para lamang masatisfy sa kanyang carnal hunger. Madalas ay pedophile or maaaring hustler ang maniac.

Bukambibig: "Sa akin ka lang! Sa akin ka lang kung ayaw mong mamatay!"

ideal type

hmmm. after 2 days of working out, i thought that i should have a goal. as my instructor told me, numeric goals (ideal weight and time frame) are more practical. so i went home last tuesday with this in mind. what is my goal???? what do i want to achieve???

for the time frame, that is quite easy. i should reach my goal before our family reunion this december end. very near. it is a month from now. uhhhh... scary.

now the weight is more difficult. at 24.5 BMI, my weight is normal to my height. but it's in the upper category-- overweight starts at 25 BMI. i then searched the net for a goal. browsed... browsed... but the answer came from old emails. spare me from your questions about the email contents please. and right there and then it became my phone wallpaper. i just had to see it everyday to remind me of my goal. thank you very much to the anonymous who shared this picture in my mailbox.

satisfied with my find, i shared it to my colleagues the day after. they said the body was great, but they don't want me to be like that. it won't fit me they said. well, who can blame them? me and the picture/wallpaper are complete opposites. i've always been this lovable creature but the damn wallpaper was oozing with sexiness hot. as in HOT!!! definitely my type... hmmm... ideal body type. wait that might sound something else. i want to have that body... hmmm... that still sounds wrong. wahahahaha.

gym virgin no more

at 152lbs last friday, i started going to the gym. i'm not even sure how i landed at 152, i always weigh more at home. plus, i just had a birthday bash till dawn from the previous day. but let's cut this before i drift further about the weight, this is my very first gym experience.

when the company offered, i just enrolled. i had no plans of being a regular or of even going to the gym. i was even hesitant because of the very limited free time i have. every working day is hectic and every weekend is sleep. but i enrolled nonetheless, all because of the low fee. at less than 400 a month for a year, that is a good enough catch right?

last nov 3, the gym services officially started. people went there right away and gave me some idea of what to expect. until finally i decided to go. good thing i had company. for if not, i would have postponed it till next day. i always hate first times. i am shy at first times. so there i went with them. the gym was quite spacious, i'm not quite sure if its the regular size though. as i've said, i am a virgin in gym-ing.

first thing they did was get my account. so i filled up the form and searched for my name in the attendance sheet to sign. to my surprise, the sheet was a total let down. my name had a horrible spelling--all vowels in my last name were wrong. i reported that to the staff. i hope they would change it.

like any other gym for sure the locker room was the place for changing clothes. the toilet and shower area was also in there. there were men chatting inside. they must be gym regulars for they seem to know each other well but don't seem to be workmates. gym buddies should i say. and like any men conversation, sex or anything related to it always comes in the picture. one said that his body is already getting in shape more and more. and one replied that he should be careful, the more he lifts weights the more his weeny will become smaller. that gave everyone a laugh, i secretly smiled of course. these guys might kill me if i'd do more. that was the very first lesson i got, be careful with the weights. i went out right after changing clothes.

the other man

no other woman - top grosser in the philippines so far. who wouldn't want some sexy bodies in a quality drama? the sexy mistress and the sexy wife fighting over the sexy husband. that makes three sexy in one sentence.  gosh. hot scenes everywhere, what lucky women they were. wahahahha. plus the line were so amazing. this is an eye opener for those planning to be the other woman. be the other man instead. pak! here were my favorite scenes:

• the barney bash fighting over barney bag
• the dinner in the house of flying daggers (she was holding a knife for god's sake)
• the pauper and the snake by the pool
• the could have used ropes from damaged chairs to kill fight scene
• and don't forget the mother goose teaching the chick scenes

amazing!!! truly deserves the honor.

praybeyt benjamin - is bound to equal or even surpass "no other woman". a good comedy about a gay man who sacrificed and got acceptance in return. this movie speaks for the minority and tries to kill prejudices. this should be an eye opener to all. everyone, with or without differences, can do great and even succeed. the comedy punch lines were well executed. "gwapo ka sana kung di ka lang naging pangit". laughed the hardest with that line. some of my favorite scenes were:

• all scenes with the free tongued little sister
• all imagination sequences with the platoon officer
• the angry bird

and since filipinos love to laugh, this is a box office hit.

on these two movies, there were common factors.

as the years go by

i can't help but wonder... ano kaya ang mangyayari kung naging kami?

wahahahha. wishful thinking lang naman, ano ba kayo. hayaan nyo na ako. kung bakit ba kasi ang torpe torpe ko. ni di ko nga magawang sabihin sa kanya what i'm feeling inside. di gaya ng iba dyan na kung meron mang nararamdaman ay raratsada na agad. hay nako. why is it so hard for me to do the same?

hanggang tingin na lang siguro ako. hanggang silip... hanggang imahenasyon... hanggang... oi over na 'to. baka anong sabihin ng iba dyan. wholesome po ako. kahit makita ko lang ang mga mata nyang nangbibighani habang iniisa-isa nyang hinuhubad ang suot nyang damit ok na sa akin yun. ooops. bweset na keyboard, kahit ano sinusulat. anyway, nakakatunaw kasi mga mata nya. ohhh your eyes your eyes uh uhm uh uhm... shining... (di alam ang lyrics, pasensya). at ang ngiti... bakit ba kasi ganito mga type ko? stop it! stop it!

kung naging kami siguro, buhay ang mundo ko. i'm not saying that it is dead now. i'm not even saying that it is not colorful. well, i think you could say that it would have been brighter and enjoyable. never monotonous. always fun. hmmm... baka magka anne curtis moment din ako, yes i enjoyed it and i'm sure the feeling is mutual.

teka teka, ang layo na nang narating ng utak pero zero sa reality. hay. ikaw naman tumingin sa akin o. kakapagod nang sumilip eh. kahit once lang tapos mag smile ka lang... kodak moment na. wahahahha. hintayin mo na lang ang pag-gigym ko. maaakit ka din ng mga muscles ko. wahahha. bola. at nanaginip na nga ng gising. tinuloy na talaga.

sige lang. libre lang naman mangarap. at ayaw ko din namang mang-agaw kung may nagmamay-ari na (cristine in purple, ikaw na nga). hay buhay. i-blow mo na ang candles mo at ng matigil na ang ilusyon. ay bibili pa pala ako ng cake. bye na muna.