(58) suliran ni bossing niadtong 10-30-2008...

usa kani ka isturya sa among kauban nga laki
itago na lang nato sa pangalan nga bokkie.
sa yang kinabuhi siya naulawan
ug ako igo ra mo katawa sa taman.

usa kaadlaw na huebes kadto
si bokkie sa iidabashi nag-inusara niadto.
ug sa dihang sa takna nga alas dose impunto
"kaon na" ang gihunahuna, mao ra ang sulod sa ulo.

sa opisina, siya nagdali ug hawa
kay lagi excited mukaon, ug unya...
didto sa baratuhong yoshinoya baya
siya nilingkod, waiter gipangita.

pagkahuman sa malami niya nga pagkaon,
gochisousamadeshita unta kung kabalo pa muhinapon.
pitaka gikuha para mubayad na unta
ug hala sa dakong pagkakurat, 80 yen ra ang nakita.

gikulbaan ug sugod, agtang gipaningot.
kay ngano man intawon sa kwarta siya nakalimot!
nagwarawara sa kamot para makasabot
ang waiter nga hapon sa iyang atubangan nagmug-ot.

gihatagan niya ug ngalan, telephone number ug uban pa
kuyog sa hangyo nga siya mubalik ra.
ang waiter intawon siguro nagduhaduha
maayo na lang sa katapusan, nagkasinabtanay ra sila.

pwerti niyang sutoy sa ATM sa unahan
savings sa bangko hinuon ang nakuhaan.
sa utok "kauwaw", mao ra ang nagdagan
apan unsaon ta man, uwahi na ang tanan.

hala bokkie paningkamot na lang.
butangi ug dyes mil ang bulsa daan.

(57) clueless... part 2

its been awhile since my head drifted off somewhere... and surprisingly, i allowed it to drift off. last week was a complete mess, so many deadlines to meet and people to beat.... but now is a completely different story... earlier, i thought of having a good day... i mailed people expecting some replies but no... nothing came... absolutely no replies... it is very disappointing to have no progress at all... oops, you might think that this is the perfect life for you; a life with nothing to do at all is what everyone wishes.... i thought so too, but nah... a life with nothing to do is like a traffic light in a farming village. might as well stop it and save electricity than keep it up and serve no purpose. with the feeling i have now, i would rather be in a coffin buried deep down the earth.. it is that boring today... I'm totally alone with no one else to talk to, or with no energy at all to open my jaw and speak up...

my seatmate is not here, she is dead today... imagine how you would feel after attending a birthday party miles away from home... she was dead even before she left... i couldn't imagine it to be worse.. i didn't know that a dead man could still die... how dead can a dead man be, this was what was running through my head hearing her cough all night... double dead meat...

my other seatmate, well it's always hard to catch him during the day... he was here for a while and we joked but i just couldn't find the energy to keep up with it... it's not that we don't talk often, i do enjoy our conversations, but it's just that he has so many others to talk to as well... and they talk in Japanese, of all the languages why talk in something i'm not fluent in... naturally, the conversation dwindled to a natural death...

now with no one to talk to but myself, sleep is the worst enemy... i've tried reading my book, memoirs of a geisha, and i'm on the near-end chapters but this only fueled sleep... the more i kept on, the more heavy my lids became... don't get me wrong, the book was fun... but the last few chapters were gloomy and all... my brain must have told my lids to close and gain stars than keep on imagining a war full of dead people all over...

now my brain is bringing me back to the sober days, when words spoken went freely without barrier... i can still remember how i have heard conversations on men with their exploits with women... i can still hear the descriptions used on the ways of carnal desires... and i was only disgusted.. and then i remembered the reasons women use for getting what they wanted... i can clearly picture the scenes when they reasoned out that women deserves only the best... and with this, i too felt disgusted... men should keep their adventures to themselves, it is not an award to be bragged... women should find more clever reasons to be cherished-- being a 'woman' is just an overused cliche (double impact for that...). and here i am being cynical about others but never learning. I'm just a self righteous prick... i see the wrongs but i too have mistakes to take focus on... maybe i should work on them more... but today is just not that day...

now the day's end is near and people will be slowly going out... still i'm doing nothing... yes there were occasional calls and i am happy to have them but my brain is still far-way, never been back from the sailing adventure it took earlier... this post has reached this length but still i don't know if i've written much or to continue on... this paragraph surely sounds like a closing statement... but i'm not even sure how to close something i have never opened...

now they're telling jokes of me, but i'm just too tired and sleepy to argue...

just let them be for now...

56 - ang mungos...

ug sa dihang ang bisdak naabot sa japan, didto ra siya nakaamgo kung unsa kalami ang mungos.... bow....

murag duha na kami ka adlaw nagsige ug hisgot sa mungos... unsa man gud diay ba ang anaa sa mungos??? kung ako pa ang pasultihon, pulo na ko ka buwan nganhi sa japan pero karon pa gyud intawon ako nakatilaw ug balik sa malamian na mungos.. ug kung nganong mungos ang nahisulod sa alimpatakan sa mga tawo, ambot kana wala gyud ko kasabot....

upat kami na nagbahin sa duha ka plastik sa mungos na among gipalit... kung wala koy katunga ato, aw di sad gyud ko mupalit oi... kakapoy ug luto ug munggos ah... kadaghan ana ug steps... maayo unta ug itak-ang lang unya maluto ra ug iyaha... hala... lat-an pa baya ang mungos unya mag-gisa pa unya sabawan... kakapoy ah... ang hulugason pa gyud... di na madala oi... ug mao kadto ang background sa mungos na gipalit.. igo ra ko mukaon ani ug dili gyud movolunteer ug luto... magkinamatay pa, dili gyud...

"ang mungos na gilat-an na gibutang sa prejeder, mabaho ba kaha kadto????" mao kani ang gipanghunahuna sa mga tawo niadtong domingo... gilat-an ra ha... kana ganing gipabukalan pa... wala pay subak... of course, dili sad ako ang naglata ato... wahahah... mungos man among gisud-an pagka sabado unya gidaghan na lang ug lata kay pwerte man gud dugaya lat-an aning munggos... kagagmay ra man unta aning lisuha, pwerte man gahia... mao to ang giplanuhan na lutuon inig ka domingo sa gabii, panihapon unta... ug kay pwerte man gayud pagkatyming sa laag.... ang mungos dili na gayud maluto... "hot topic" kaayo ang mungos oi sa among lakwatsa... murag tanan nalang ipasangil sa mungos... "adto ta sa amo na, pakan-on mo namo ug mungos", yuna pa nila... abi nako ug hangtud aning adlawa ra ang mungos... apan....

pagka ugma, hagba tanang tawo... berthday sa among kauban so nagbinuntagay mi ug tagay... wahahah.. kinsa pa ba gud ang makahunahuna ug luto sa mungos unya... maabtan pa man siguro ug martes ang mungos, matud ko.... wahahha...

oi, giluto ang mungos!!! wala kami nagdungan ug kaon, kay nangatulog pa ang uban... pagkaon nako kay daghan pa man to... nagkuha ko ug usa ka bowl, usual na serving sa mungos na tag-singko... aw lami kaayo ang akong kaon oi... ug sa dihang pagka taud-taud na kay nireklamo man ang katapusan na nakakaon kay gamay na man lang kaayo ang mungos na nahibilin... hala.... asa na man ang mungos na pwerting daghana ganiha???? aw, nahupay ra sad to kay wala man gipansin....

pagka gabii na, nagpalit ug cake among kauban kay lagi birthday man niya.... alangan man ug mukaon diritso sa cake, di nanihapon pa sila.... ug didto, nanggawas ang uban pang mungos... nagtago diay sila ug mungos kay ilang isud-an inig kagabii... hala, gawas nasad tanang isturya sa mungos....

english version to follow...

maskara 55

if feelings were as free flowing as the wind, it might be easier to express everything i'm feeling. unfortunately, mine is not. if mine were, then it would be like a hurricane spreading havoc to all. i don't want that to happen... so i'd rather not tell... i don't wanna wear a mask but who doesn't??? people wear a mask at some point in their lives. in my case, my mask has "keeping quite" written all over it.

i guess people have realized that i don't really open up personal stuffs. this is really not my forte. i hate to share because i might not be able to contain my words.... i might spill out more than asked... i'm a good listener though and i have never spilled out what others have shared to me... and i'm sorry but i've got a bad memory so i guess that makes me the best secret keeper... over time, even i forget the secrets told so how could i even share them... now before i drift into that topic more and more, i better go back to my point... i hate to share my feelings because i too, have not yet figured it out..... this is the harsh reality of it... i haven't figured out myself yet... so when people ask something, i just shrug my shoulders without saying anything...that is the best answer i have come up...

my zodiac sign agrees to my mask too... look at how they view scorpios.... aside from being sexy, romantic, loyal, great kisser, it always says that scorpios are secretive... the other adjectives are quite obvious (reserve your comments later...) though i still don't know about the great kisser part... anyone wants to volunteer??? ohh i forgot... they also mention that scorpios are great lovers... another volunteer needed for this too... but secretive is always there.. i don't know if people around me knows that i'm secretive... they tell me their secrets so maybe they do... secretive people = good secret keepers... does that make sense??? to me it does... i've been told quite a lot and i've forgotten quite a lot too... but i have never told anyone of my secrets... i have never really shared them... oh sorry, i have told some of some... but there are still many feelings left untold... who doesn't have feelings left untold??? i guess this what makes each person interesting, discovering what secrets they hide... i just happen to have more of them...

ooopsss... of all the things i have mentioned, don't get me wrong ok... i may be secretive and not sharing much but i'm genuine.... though i cannot say "what you see is what you get" applies to me since there is more to me... but i'm not a tupperware (read as plastic) ok... i laugh at something funny, i get hurt when someone throw stones (physically and idiomatically)... i can be sarcastic too..

oh yeah, i have written this line up there "i hate to share my feelings because i too, have not yet figured it out"... i think this makes a good topic for the next blog... figuring out the unknown... wahahaha... i can now imagine what things to write. i'll surely go around in circles again...

and yeah, did you all know that i'm colorblind??? i guess you all do, that is not a secret at all... but i just don't share that fact to all... oh no... maybe i just did...

54 - designer labels

why are people giving labels??? why should there be labels to all
things??? does it always have to be like that???? why can't just there
be gray areas in between black and white???? does giving labels mean
that they know persons all that much???? and even make them feel
greater???? or even better???? do you even know how the other feels by
doing such????

i'm just so very confused and very disappointed right now...

people you think you are confident to share things with have turned back against you....

how do you think i feel after all these????

too bad... i better shut up now...
 

53-- onsite

I'm tired... people back home expects that there is less work here... they often thought of how lucky we are...

yes, we are lucky. i am blessed in fact. who would have expected that one day i was just a brat in Cebu and the next, I'm a brat in japan.... nothing much changed, i am still a brat. but yeah, i am a traveling brat... but guess what, this traveling brat is full of burdens.... colleagues at home expect less work??????  less work their a$$e$... facing clients is a hard job OK... we are the front liners if this were a war.... we are the first ones who die.... so don't they ever dare say that again... there black a$$e$ receive the last blow...

and you know what, here is another thing. i cannot get a leave in here.... i have never taken a leave for the past 7 months... amazing!!!!!!!!!! if i were back home, a slight pain would be a major cause for a leave... if it were as easy as before..... but no its not.... who gets to face the clients when i come back the next day???? it is still me... who gets all the trouble, me.... so forget about vacations..... it is just not worth it.

and now i am doing nothing for the 2nd time this week... and today is a Friday... i was expecting lots of work and even a bug report today, but yes, none came.... blessed.... i got the time to create this blog... but then again, I've got to be careful... if people find out that i did nothing, they might give me some work... got to pretend doing something....

end this now before i continue on...

52 ---- love nasad

i have just read a short story on love, 20 questions by Juan ekis. i was shocked by the sincerity of the piece. there was no beating around the bush. one plot is all there is. i hope i can write something like it. but nope, i don't know how to write narratives. have tried to in high school (not really tried on my own but forced to write as an assignment). i suck at writing stories. if i write one, it will surely go in circles.

anyway, the story was on friends. their barkada have this prank on them and they were locked in the room for 3 days during a vacation trip. of course, they can do whatever they like. the male was principled. he has his idea of what is right and wrong. the woman was practical. well she seems practical but deep inside, she is a hopeless romantic. she has experienced many things.

now the two of them started this game where they ask questions to each other. a total of 20 questions, they have to answer honestly to each. they asked on there future plans, secrets, love life, crushes, sex, etc. and all of a sudden, the magic started between them. the last question was "don't you want to kiss me?", and probably you know what happened, the story ended.

i was hooked by the sincerity and simplicity of it.



now lets stop this drama. i have kept all this pent up emotions deep within. i am totally confused, i am over thinking on simple things. i have watched "kimi wa petto" (you are my pet) yesterday though i have not finished the series yet and i totally feel the same sentiments as the main character. she is a successful woman in her field, graduated from a famous university, elite as her colleagues say, and men are afraid of her. all she seeks is true love but her lovers get insecure of her accomplishments. as for me, i graduated from one of the best school if not the best. though I'm not  really sure if I'm successful in this field but hopefully i am. but...  ...

hey....

wait a minute...

what am i talking about???? i am not looking for love. i am waiting for love to bump me in the head. i am waiting for the bells and music when i meet that person. i am a lazy person so ill wait.... if you are the right one then come to my place, bring a bell and talk to me.

ill probably think you are it.

ever dearest.... 51

dear ---,


why are you like that? your aura is cocky... i hate it. i understand why you talk that way but no matter how i rationalize things, it still doesnt seem right. you had my respect, you are my senior. but it doesnt mean that you can order me around. no way! theres just no way. i may just laugh at your remarks but too much is too much... i may act foolish but i also think.... you may be amazed that this brain of mine can hold more info than yours....


dear ***,


be more strong... you should not let anybody push you around.... i know you can do it. just remember that you have come this far to throw it all back..... you have surpassed more difficult situations before, why cant you do it this time????? people judge but dont let those comments affect you.... the best thing when you are looked down is proving that you are better.... just look at their faces when you rise and smirk, smile a little.... wahahahahahah.... bitch....

50.... rebirth

was it three or four months since i last wrote a blog entry???? i am struggling with this now. i don't know if i can keep up. i just have lots of things to do lately and i think it will be like that for a year.

well but I'm here now, what should i say? hmmm.... after the long break, lots of things have happened in my life. i don't know where to start.

well you might have already heard it but I'm saying it anyway, I'm in japan right now. yeah its true... it still seems like a dream to me up to this day. but after 4 months of waking up each day, I'm still here in japan. somehow, i am still thinking when this dream would end. when i think of it i cant think of any good reason why i was sent here. (too much humility in there huh.....). i knew of this plan long before but i never believed it.

the first time I've heard of it was kind of an accident. i went out for snacks and when i came back, i went directly to the room with our test machines since i was planning to test something out. to my surprise, the senior members of my team is having a meeting in there (huh uh...)  with a bod (double huh uh...) and is about to start. and there is no way to escape because they all saw me and invited me in. hey, what is this that I'm dragged into???? what is this about huh??!?!?!? tell me, tell me... i just smiled throughout the meeting with no idea in mind. in there i have learned that the bod is actually planning to send the attendees to japan (am i part of it???). they want us all to have an experience of japan and the way things operate in there. i never believed it back then since i was only a freshie, i hardly had a year of experience, i was never part of the original attendees of the meeting.... and come on... they are taking me to japan??? impossible... are they crazy???? what were they thinking??? i have no passport and i am bound to the Philippines by a scholarship.

but look at where i am now. the past is past. some impossibilities do happen. (i was about to write "and the rest is history" but nah.... its too cliche... but i still wrote it though...)

what has japan taught me so far? lots actually... ill tell of them in the future.