ang kinauyukan sa dughan (bente nueve)

naglibog ko kun unsa gyud ang akong ibutang. wala man gyud ko kabalo ba unsa akong isuwat karon. ang ako lang nahunahuna-an na ganahan ko musuwat ug bisaya bisag kausa lang gud. ganahan ko makabati sa kong kaugalingon na magbinisaya sa akong utok samtang gasulat niining mga pulong. sa pagkakaron pa lang nalingaw na ko sa akong gipanghunahuna.


sa wala pa nagpasko, niapil ko sa misa de gallo. nalingaw ko sa unang adlaw pa lang kay murag daghan ug tawo unya nakalingkod pa gyud ko. wala ko nagdahum na anaa pa koy malingkuran ato. ug unya naa koy nakitan na usa ka maanyag na nilalalng. naa siya didto nisimba usab. ambot kun unsay naa niya na mura man ko ug permi magpangita.


sa ikaduha nga adlaw, nangita dayun ko kung naa ba gihapon siya. ug naa sad tuod. matahum siya ug pahiyum. dili gayud nako siya makalimtan.


sa ikatulong adlaw wala na ko kasimba. wala kamata kay daghan na man ug tawo sa amo. mauwaw na mamukaw ang among silingan kay daghan na ang makamata. daghan naman gud ko mga paryente na naggikan sa negros.


sa ikaupat, nisimba na sad ko ug kita na sad mi. makalanay na sad ang iyang pahiyum. kana ganing murag pang miss universe na makita tanang ngipon. pero dili ngilad tanawon, angayan kaayo siya.


sa mga sumusunod na adlaw, wala na ko kasimba pa ug balik. magsige man gani ko ug ngisi kun makahinumdum ko ato. wala pa ko kabalo na pwede gyud diay na mahitabo.


sa pagkakaron, nagsige ra ko ug internet, nagsige ug katulog, naghinumdum sa mga niaging panghitabo. gisulit gyud ug maayo ang panahon na nagbakasyon. lisod na raba ni mabalik. lisod na makakita ug lain pang kahigayunan na makatulog ug taas. lisod na makakita ug kahigayunan sa pagmunimuni sa kaugalingon.

28th... (yesterday's drama...)

a friend received an email inviting her to try their company... it was a very tempting and irresistible offer... i don't know what talks we've made but it came to a point where we were talking about employment experiences--job offers, interviews, and the like. she said that maybe it was really her destiny to be where she is working for if not, she should have been accepted in other companies with bigger pay. i was amazed that we were in fact trying out the same companies. we shared interview experiences and laughed about them. then i got depressed...


i realized that one of my biggest downfall in this computer related profession was my not being a computer related course graduate... its partially my fault. i know that its  kinda weird to hear a math graduate in an IT field. but i want to push my limits. i just find the world of software development challenging and i always seek challenge. it really bothers me that a part of the points used against me in one of my interviews was this fact... no matter how hard i say that i can be easily trained, that i easily learn, the damage is done.


a well... and this is also one of the reasons why i cant easily transfer to other companies. the stigma is there. i know my potentials but others cant see raw talent (char...) with just one look of the eye. i always feel that i need to work harder because of this. i feel that i have to make extra effort because of this. this is really an insecurity that i cant deny. no one judged me in my present work. I'm glad about that. but to transfer and experience the whole process of application again is very stressful... i get to be judged again on what course i have taken... i just wish to have a long experience and maybe thats the time that i can get away with my downfall...


its really depressing to be judged on what you have and not on what you can offer... its definitely their loss and not mine....

bureaucracy (27th...)

just this morning, a fuss happened. action was supposed to happen. the management heads were trying to get to the root by tasking someone to do it. but because of bureacracy, no action was taken... yet... i dont know what is to happen but i do hope its for the betterment of everyone.


when i was new in here just trying to know the people, the system and all, i committed a grave mistake so they say... i have posted this before in here. i was tempted to do a stupid thing and yes i fell in the trap. i was just thankful that it didnt really make that much of an impact on my evaluation. now i can see myself lasting longer in here.


after a month or so from my regularization, i was transferred to a different room filled with oldies (not in their age but in their work experience). i was very anxious to even enter the room at first and when i do enter, i never want to get out. there is an aura in the room--that of seriousness and silence. i dont want to get anybodys attention whenever i pass by. but now that ive been here for a longer time now, that feeling was gone.


ive posted before that i got a memo on playing dota. but what surprised me in this new room was that many oldies are playing the game and yet nobody got a memo for it. i refrained from joining them. i refrained from having a copy of the game on my pc. i said that i will never do it again because of the memo trauma. they only replied that memos apply only to newbies or something like that. i was really turned down by this statement. they played openly even if bosses are still there. at least when i played the game, i made sure that the coast is clear. but they were different. its as if no one can stop them from doing the things they like. now i can say that there really is such a thing as favoritism.


this world is really not fair. i have known this long ago but i never thought that even in a place like this, there is something as seniority. people even turn the blades back at you when you try to complain just like what happened this morning to a friend of mine. when you try to fight the seniors, they tend to help each other out in crushing you down. and whats most disappointing is when you treat them as your friends and they push you in the end.


if only there is no such thing as bureacracy. if only people are judged on their performance alone. if only...

26th...(more complaints)

for most of my life, i have always been an achiever... i dont know how or why but i am... its not that i do something different, i dont even do something extra for the things that i am doing or about to do. i think its in my nature. what i do know is that i can remember many things. its not something photographic though but i can remember many... i can even still remember the capital cities of many countries of the world. and i am damn proud and thankful for this brain i have... and another thing, as much as possible i dont settle for anything less... if i know that i can achieve more, then why not do it instead...



and now to my complaint, why do people instead of envying others not do their best instead??? instead of blaming others for their shortcomings, why not blame themselves for not giving their best in everything... and if they did their best, why still say bad words to others who did better instead of just being happy for giving it their best? why make others feel bad for achieving something? its just unfair. very unfair... why become sour grapes? why not be happy for others? why always make reasons for others' success? why not look at yourself and sort out what things you lack?



thats all folks... i dont wanna talk more about this. im just happy with my life and this is nothing compared to the many happy moments in my life...

25th (complaints)

i have been thinking about this for a long time and its just now that i finally took the courage to write about it (char... as if its very important.... wahihihihihi).


once long time ago at work, my female seatmate requested whether she can use my pc. she was gonna surf the internet. so i leaned away and she came over. we were seated only 2 or 3 feet away and our chairs have wheels. she asked if she can sit down. i told her that her chair is only 2 or 3 feet away, why not use it instead. then she said "your really not a gentleman". i never reacted then coz im quite used to our teasings and stuff, but when i think of it now, it really pisses me off... what the F#@K!!! i do know that women should be taken care of, etc..., blah, blah, blah... but i do also know that women can do almost all things, if not everything, that a man can do... women around the world claim to be independent. i dont like the idea of women expecting men always (as in all the time) to be at their service. its as if theyre a precious crystal that easily breaks even by a soft breeze. i thought women are independent but why are some always needing help, always needing a man to be with her and do her errands? its just a lame excuse for being lazy... demanding lazy women should be banished from the face of the earth...


second complaint, i was so happy these past few days not until now. i have made plans for the long holiday on december though theyre not as exciting as that of others. i have planned to stay home and have a long sleep (its really needed especially now). but just now, my worst dream came true. the supposedly long holiday poofed away. i just wish our management will not change our previous agreement. whats said has been said. no taking words back. giving false hopes is just the worst that can happen...



thats all for now.

my goodness!


ill be dealing with java applets this time... wow!

boredom...

is it my fault to be bored?


is it my fault that i have nothing to do?


i do find ways to be helpful but i can't always do those things?


i just can't get rid of what college taught me-- "the easiest way to get an employee to resign is to give him no job, assign him no task... eventually he will get stressed thinking about it and then decide to leave the company later on"... is this what is being applied to me? i hope that this is not the case with me... because if it is, its already getting into my nerves... i am now thinking of ways to get myself useful... they will eventually succeed on pushing me out if its their main purpose... its not that i have no project, i do have one, but the problem is that this project won't start... my teammates, too have no particular task... don't tell me we are all planned to be thrown out... that's just unfair..


i really hope this is not a plan nor a trick...

im getting more sick...

help me...




ive been having cough and colds for the past week and im getting no better. i can't even stand my headache. i really dont know what to do... my birthday is tomorrow and i think i will be absent. this sickness has got to end...




bye

sports fest update... (21st century)

the sportsfest pushed through last saturday and i was really glad i came...


im no sports fan, no sports jock, or anything sports related. i think i have no sporty bone in my body but i really enjoyed the day... i came late as planned. (i dont want to participate in the team cheer.) i joined bowling as agreed last friday, though there really was no agreement made because we were forced to join the game but im glad they forced me to join. it was my first game ever. i have no idea how to throw the ball and hit the pins. i dont even know how to hold the ball. but everything was fine... the chit chats here and there kept me alive... as soon as i bowled the ball (i dont know the right term for that), i knew that i will enjoy this... i hit no pin but it was fun... it was fun predicting whether ill hit or not... all in all, i scored 60. thats a low score but for a first timer like me, thats not bad... i dont have beginners luck unlike the others though... i threw balls after balls after balls even after the official game ended... if only my company stayed there, i would have bowled for more hours. our team ranked 2nd after the game and im proud to be part of that... i know that if ill ever attend a sportsfest here again, ill go for bowling again... i want to try it in another place sometime soon...

we then came down to witness the badminton and basketball events... we lost in basketball but were up for championships in badminton. i too played badminton after we got the championship. it was really fun. we were three against three... it really was fun to be just playing there like kids... if only we had 8 rackets, it would have been 4 against 4... so much fun... wahihihihi...

when i woke up yesterday, i felt pains in my body especially on my arms... i cant even lift the basket when we went to buy grocery items... it really hurts... but it was all worth it... the experience, the laughter, and everything... hope it will happen again soon... i really didnt expect to have so much fun... its not actually the winning but just the fun of being there and chatting with people is what matters most to me... have fun...

itlog na, naging bato pa... (20th)

i was in the office and is doing all the regular stuff. i attended nihongo lessons and found out that i really have to review on this. (i already forgot so many words) afterwhich, i went back to my desk... after some time, the electricity stopped... wow... a grace from god... the electricity stopped and it is showing no signs of returning back...


my officemates said that it is also like this in talisay and lapulapu.(another sign that this might take long) we were now chatting, just having a good time... i was really prepared to go home; im just waiting for any announcement. i planned to go to school and maybe arrange my papers; i planned to go malling. 30 minutes or so passed and still nothing. then suddenly, the lights came back........


damn. i was really pissed off... all my plans were broken... my heart seemed to stop pumping for seconds... i just cant believe the turn of fate... damn. i really hope it goes off again...

nineteenth...

let me tell you what happened the day i was depressed...


i told my friends about it and they advised me to talk it over with someone... i knew it was the right thing to do. but i just dont want to talk it out with someone i knew... i want a neutral person who has no idea who i am... i just want to air out what i was feeling then... and so i went online... i entered a chatroom in ym and 2 people comforted me... it was the longest talk of my life... we started at about 10am or so and ended at 4... they were both from the us... one was an 18 female, the other was a 26 male... we talked my depression away...


i just dont know what was in me that day but i really was depressed... i just dont know... it hit me. i guess i was thinking of my life-- was everything i did/steps i took worth it... that was the main point. and i just found out that there is something deeper to unravel... i have known this for a long time but i just ignored it... it wasn't bothering me before so i never thought much about it... i guess that was the main problem...


anyway, we are having a sportsfest this coming saturday at the cebu city sports club... i have no idea what to do... im not into sports and is certainly not gonna play... i dont know what to do... theyve been scrambling about the team arrangements saying that it was unfair. some teams got all the people good in basketball... the hell to that... is it that important to win in basketball? ive played basketball before but i never enjoyed it though.... so now, the teams were rearranged again and i dont know what my team will be... all im really intersted on is, "can i wear slippers in cebu sports club?"...


can i wear slippers in cebu sports club?






guys please answer that...

18th...

kachar sad sa akong gipanuwat gahapon oi... unexpected kaayo to... hay... ngano ba to oi... ako ning pahimuslan ang akong internet... karon ra man ni kutob... so blog sa ko... wahihihihihihi....


makaaddict man diay ni ang blog no.... wahihihihihi....


bye...

second post for the day.... (depression sinks in)

hay, nganong lain man akong feeling karon oi... feeling depressed kaayo... kapoy... ambot lang.... laay kaayo.... ikaduha na ni nako na post for this day and still i feel that i need to post more...



yesterday i watched the free japanese film at ayala and though it was r18 i can't see anything which makes it one... whaihihihihi... okay okay, there were scenes not meant for kids but they were short and were very funny. and it was not on a lustful context.


we, i and shiela, planned to watch the movie together and keep up with each other... (its hard to find real friends you know. especially at my status where i treat everyone as friends, its hard to know who are real.) and we met other UPians there too. UPians must really be a fan of any free movie... wahihihihihihi.... (hope to see them in the next film festivals to come--cine europa, chinese, australian, etc.) its just good to see and hear others doing well after school. i can also see an invisible bond which keeps us UPians together... though im not an active part of the campus, never been to any rallies, never accomplished something worth bragging for the school, i can feel the UP spirit in me...



ive never been very vocal with regards to political or any other issues but i do have a side... i take stand on things... i just dont believe that rallies can make a very big change...  im so sorry but there are just other things that i believe are more effective than rallies... im fed up with all the rallies here and there demanding the administration to step down... but i dont think that stepping down is the real answer to all this... i think if we only start with ourselves, surely there will be a change... anyway, i dont know why im writing about this now or even why im acting this way. i guess im just affected by the blog i just read... the blog of "coconuter".



im sick of all people making everything possible to be close to you just because of the status or anything you have... its plain bullshit... why is this world so dependent on status? why cant we all just live together harmoniously? why do we filipinos have to kiss somebodies ass just to gain a little increase in possition? i dont know why im writing about this but i think im just tired of everything...



why do filipinos regard of anything foreign as something good??? why do they think that when someone goes abroad, swerte? i just dont know... im sick of this system... why is it like that? i dont know... i dont know why im having this outburst even...



hay i dont know.... i just dont know.... maybe im thinking of my future already... maybe im worried of what the future has instored for me... i just want to live peacefully, enjoy the little blessings that come... i actually dont want to achieve much... but i dont know... there is just something in me that me myself dont want to accept... there is something that i dont want to face... there is this void, dark place in me that i want to fill... i want to experience everything... but i havent tried them because of the norms of society... i dont want to stay this way forever... i dont know... there is this hunger for more... there are some things you cant do because of your repuation but damn those reputations... i dont want to be bound.... i want to be free. i want to......


hay... its just now that ive realized that the way ive lived for the past 20years was empty... it was fulfilling but i should have experienced more... and now that im working, i dont know if i still can try them.... i dont know.... i want to try other stuff... i want to explore what else i can do... i dont know... i dont know...



but as much as i would like to try new things, im scared of what might happen... im scared....... im scared... oh god what is this im feeling....

16th...

now that im on my 16th i would like to write something more deeper... lets write something on a more serious note.


i have so many questions that i would like to ask. i have thought about this for so long now but i have never given it much time. i was so focused on so many worldly things as what others may call it. i dont know if im ready to accept the reality that not all things are as good as what they seem they are...



i have three friends whom ive met at the same time way back then. i see one, a, always and we remain friends even until now. the other one, b, ive lost contact with and never saw again. the last one, c, i just met again recently and stayed in touch (i hope). although you would like to be friends with all three always, but things change. i always see a and we were having more or less the same environment. we understand each other and there are things that dont need to be stated but we both know right away. c on the other hand, had a different environment. when c came back, i dont know what to say. i dont know if c would still like to talk of simple things like a and i does. i dont know if c enjoys reminiscing. i just dont know. so i kept quite. and c was quite as well. i dont know if c felt the same.



i met a again and had a great time... we talked of our dreams, future plans and of people we were both acquainted with... and i discovered that a felt the same way of c. how bad...



c seems so distant. our environment and culture have very little common points now. i just miss the old c full of stories and jokes to tell. i miss the old c who has a simple life to talk about. i miss the old c... but i guess the old c will remain in the past. the old c is now the new c who i have no idea on... the new c is a grown up, a more serious c. i dont know if c still jokes, and what these jokes are about. i can really tell c is not into childish stuff now. maybe its the upbringing. c is onto the world while i remained here in the province. i remained simple but c has a wider perspective... i tried to open up with c and maybe get his idea on things, get a glimpse of how c's life is now but c never opened up. i got this feeling that c is pushing me away. maybe c is burrying the past--never remember anything of me.



i guess i too have grown. i may not have noticed it but maybe i did too. but one thing for sure never changed. i never make the first move. im scared to make the first move. im scared to open a conversation. i talk only when people are talking. i feel the mode and vibe of the people first before talking. i just hope i can change that... maybe c felt that i too have changed. maybe its the reason c never spoke.



if ever ill meet b in the future, hope it would be different from that with c. i think its better to not meet at all and have this imagination of us being friends.



this is just one of the many things burried in my heart as of the moment. one thorn is finally removed.

15th

i feel so happy gyud... as in...


there are just some things worth the risk...


there are just some things worth the wait...


there are just some things to be happy about...


there are just some things unexplainable but you just thank God for granting it...




update: i passed jitse!

14th

god, im #2 in our biggest downloads here in office. damn. but is it my fault that the languages im in have no installers? is it my fault that i'm new to these languages and that i download everything i think will be useful? hay. i never knew that downloads through proxy is not allowed in here. hay... if i have known, i should have been patient with our kiosk. if only i could turn back time... (mukanta ba)


don't tell me, another memo's coming again? i don't like that stuff...


bye...


update: or was it because of too much porn? wahahha. i wonder.

twelfth man guro ni....

kadugay ba anang result sa jitse oi...




kapoy na kaayo think kung nakapasar ba or wala...

twelfth knight....

buotan gyud diay ko na tawo... i don't keep grudges gyud...

eleventh...

gisapot gyud ko karon... ambot lang aning mga tawo na gahi man gyud kaayo... kapoy na kaayo ug huwat na mubalhin, dili gyud mubalhin... asa ka na gipahuwat ko ug oras para lang mubalhin... niingon pa siya daan na dili siya mubalhin di dili sad ta ko mubalhin... mura ra man sad ni ug wala koy buhaton na naa raba gyud koy buhaton... siya ray nabulahan sa wala niya pagbalhin... kakpoy na gyud... ambot lang unsay nasulod sa iyang utok na gahi man gyud kaayo ug ulo... kahibalo ko na naa kay gibuhat dira na kinahanglan gyud mahuman pero hello, tarong ba gud na na ako ang magsuffer kay wala na nimo nahuman? hello... ako na hinuon ang magproblema kay naa pa kay gibuhat? asa na man ang
consensya nimo oi... kapoy na kaayo... salig ka lang kay miga ta imo na lang kong anaon? naa sad koy limit oi... kakapoy na gyud... ayaw sad ug pagabusar sa imong gibati oi... pagdaugdaug na man na imo... inighuman nimo kay muoli na ka pero ako dili pa kay naa pa koy buhaton... kung nibalhin pa lang ka daan ganiha pa, nalipay na ta tnag duha...


nganong naa man gyud mga inconsiderate people... people na ang self ra ang githink... tumban ang tanan para dili lang masipyat... nganong ana man gyud na ang world... unfair na kaayo ni...


bye...

decade....

karon pa ko nakaexplore na pwede diay na ichange ang font color ani da... sus, wala man gyud nakaingon nako oi...




nways, nahuman na gyud ang jitse/philnits pag sunday... ako unta dayon to ipost sa blog ang mga panghitabo gahapon pero nag maintenance man ang friendster so wala na lang... grabe ang exam ha... wala gyud koy macompare kay frist gyud to nako... pagkahuman kay ingon dayon sila na mas sayon kaysa paglast daw to... well kung mao toy sayon nila, unsa na lang kaha ang lisod.... wahihihihihihihihih.... wala man sad gyud ko idea oi na ingon ana diay na siya... na grabe diay kaayo ka wordy ang exam... daghan kaayo definitions... hello!!! kinsa man gud ang ganahan magmemorize ug definitions ba? and besides, kinahanglan ba gyud na ang definition of everything? kinsa man gud ang programmer na magmemorize ug definition sa ip address na application man ta diritso... hay... pero kung permi sad siguro ka magdeal anang mga ip address, makabalo man sad guro ka sa... sa kadugayan, maka learn ka sa definition through application... wahihihihihihi... ay sus oi... mao ra gyud na akong comment... grabe ka wordy ang exam... kapuyan na lang ka ug basa dili gihapon ka kagets sa question... so basa na sd ka ug usab, or answer na lang ka ug butikawbutikaw...




mugawas na man kuno ang result ato within 2 weeks... sana na man na makapasar ko oi... gikapoy baya gyud ko ato so dapat makapasar gyud ko... wahihihihihihi... himuon bang basehan sa pagkapasar ang kakapoy... pero excited gyud ko sa result... excited ko makabalo sa akong score... bahalag mahagbong maproud lang gyud gihapon ko kay first experience gud to nako... and BS Math gud ko so challenging kaayo to for me...








ps: naa diay ko nakitan na nitake sad sa exam na murag medical course ang uniform... kana ganing puti. ambot ngano to siya na nitake man... mas challenge to sa iya...wa hihihihihihihi

ninth na ba ni?

hay patay...




ugma na ang dreaded exam...




wahuhuhhuhuhuhuhuhu...




unsa kahay mugna nako ani?




unsa may nindot na panagna song aside sa butikaw2 ug eenie meenie minie?




jitse here i come... dili gyud dapat mawaste ang 1500...




pls pray for me. txt your votes to 2331 for globe and 231 for smart and sun...






wahihihihihi






bye...

eighth blog...

happy...




nervous...




confused...

7th na man guro ni...

hala mamatay na gyud ko sa akong pc sa balay magsige ug restart... the other night kay mga 10x gyud to ni restart. kakapoy na gyud. gabii abi nako ug okay na kay dugaydugay man gyud to siya ni restart but after some minutes, ni tukar na sad ang iyang sakit. unya sugod ato, nagsige na gyud siya ug palong. hay, kakapoy sad ani oi. di na gyud ko. kapoy kaayo tan.aw ug movie kay magsige ug palong. what should i do?




karon kay ambot oi, wa na sd ko kabalo unsay buhaton... hapit na jitse unya wala pa ko tuon. dapat makapasar gyud ko kay dili ko ganahan mo.donate sa akong 1500 sa organizers sa jitse no. daghan na kaayo ko ug mapalit ana.

6th na diay ni?

hala no idea gyud ko na 6th na diay ni... wala gyud ni sa akong mga plano sa kinabuhi na magpost ug blog... who would have thought na magpadayon diay ning akong ginabuhat karon...




grabe kaayo ang life kay daghan na kaayo ko ug kaila... wa gyud ko nagexpect na ingon ani diay ko ka.friendly. wahihihihihihihihi.... sus. ambot lang unsay gibuhat ni LORD na daghan man gyud ko ug friends oi... im so thankful...




anyway, i really have nothing to say now. i just came to the office early(before working hours) and found myself with nothing to do(as if i have something to do even during office hours), so made a blog. i was having a great time yesterday, a bad time last night and so i dont know what's coming up today. the day was great except that my phone ran out of battery and im already at the office with no charger with me. well my phone has no use today... what a turn of fate...




ps. basta wala kay lingaw, bisag unsa ra man gyud ang imong ma post sa blog. wala baya ni planohay ang akong blog. what goes through my head at the moment gets written on the page. gets? problema ba na nako na dili siya interesting... i just need a place where i can air everything thats in my head... and not everything that's in my head are interesting to others..




watashi no shumi wa sekai wo ryokoushimasu.

5th...

just had my haircut yesterday...




i hate the gel im using...




feeling gud today...




refreshing hair...




bye...

4th na gyud ni...

its saturday but im still at the office. im trying to figure out why this certain system of mine don't work... it's hard especially when the language used is only popular in other countries and not in here. you have no people to ask about it. all tutorials are paid, etc...




this really sucks...




bye.

3rd blog... tests

hala i never expected na makaabot ko ug tulo ka posts... wahihihihihi...


anyway, ive got so many tests though in different months, but these are major tests...
i paid 500 for jlpt this coming december. its a japanese proficiency test. this one i like the most
because i like languages. all i have to do is learn the language and take the test. i can still do many things with this one(study and all)...


the other test, i paid 1500 for jitse which i am not really confident about.
i dont know why i applied for it... i guess im curious because i have never taken it and i hope i will never take this again. they say its difficult... i do admit it will be hard for me because this is a test on IT, Computer stuff, etc... hello!!! im a BS Math graduate... im lost in this strange wide open sea... and this test will be on october... im just wasting money...


well... its better to experience things once than not at all and regret in the end....


ps: i have no more internet connection and im writing this in our kiosk (sort of pc with internet free to be used by all)


bye.


arigatou gozaimasu

2nd blog...

im actually ok now...


i have a new project, yehey.... though i dont like the language used but ive got no choice... hope everything will be fine. this means a lot to me. now that i have a project, there is less chance for my expulsion... there is still a way for me to show what i can do. (char...)


well, thats it for now. just happy to have internet connection... that dont happen always in my work... yahoo...




ps: i love dots so im using it most of the time.....

trial...

1, 2, 3... mic test?!



well it's my first time to write a blog though I'm not sure what I'm about to write... i just wanna try this out. I've known people doing this and i don't know what's in it. I'm just doing this now cause I'm very very bored... i have nothing to do.

yes, I'm working in a company but i just don't know what the future has in stored for me... I'm happy with the way things are working not until recently. I'm stuck... after a big, hectic project, I'm as free as ever... Ive got nothing to do. i was assigned in a newly proposed project but it never came. i learned everything i could with that and was excited. though i admit, I'm also a bit scared. but nonetheless, it's a new project. but then i was transferred to another one which never started. i prepared but same thing happened... now I'm part of another one but I'm not even sure what its about. i don't even know the language used... and I'm really bored because I've nothing to do for a week now. i don't even know what to write in my personal evaluation form...




is this goodbye for me here? hope not... but if it is, well they're missing a lot. i was not even able to do what i love to do most and they're throwing me out already...




maybe i'll apply for a job in another field. just maybe...




gudbye...